Expanding My Range of Distaste

Ok fine...I've shat all over NYC before and I had to go there AGAIN this week (against my will), but went into it with an open mind. I really did. However, my most recent stay in NYC completely confirms my opinion that they should put a toilet seat on top of this place. Ok, the day started out GREAT. On my way down to NY, through CT, I stopped at a Dunkin Donuts to get a little fuel...and to my surprise, because of a "frozen computer system", I got a free iced coffee and bagel sandwich. Needless to say, I went into the day in the best mood and with the best intentions and, nevertheless, was disappointed. No word of a lie, as soon as I cross over the city limits to NYC, I'm smacked in the face with a vile...I mean VILE smell. I'm not sure how a city (as a whole) can stink, but it does. Further, after a day of work, I was going to meet a friend on the Lower West Side...so when I hopped on the train right outside of 7th and 56th, what is the first thing I see when I go into the station? You guessed it, two of the most unattractive African-American individuals engaging in sexual intercourse. Ok fine, I'm in a good mood, I got a free coffee this morning and its going to take a lot more to take me off my game. With that in mind, I rounded the next corner and saw another individual with a syringe sticking into his baby arm (as 'Suds would say). As if this wasn't shocking enough, a colleague of mine reported seeing the same thing last year. PLEASE....will someone condemn this city as unfit for human life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To a lesser extent...after I checked into my hotel room, I was completely grossed out. Now before I go further, please understand that yours truly rips through butts like its going out of style. However, that being said, the whiff that I had to smell walking into my hotel room tonight made me want to vomit (Chieftain knows what I'm talking about). It smelled like someone cultivated an entire tobacco farm on my pillow, then before leaving ran 10 miles and rubbed their grundle all over my sheets......GOD I HATE THIS CITY!!!!!!!!!!!! Not to mention, when I took a piss at some god-awful bar in Soho tonight, I smelled a stench that should not be emitted by any human on the face of the planet. Gentlemen, do yourself a favor and stay in Beantown.

Orlando

Hidden Gem...Must See Video (See Earlier Post)

I've been trying to upload the below video ever since last Friday. Needless to say, I had been experiencing difficulty while troubleshooting this masterpiece. But, have no fear...I have since (partially) alleviated the issue -- I still cannot publish the video along with a written post (I'll fix the problem in due time -- it's what I do...I seek RESULTS). But, trust me...the hassle this clip created was well worth my time, as I'm sure it's going to make your evening.

Anyways...this past Thursday night, as I spit some of the best game that Bar 230 5th has ever witnessed (it should be noted that I'm currently on a Jeter-like streak...not a single one of you readers can even begin to comprehend the run which I have endured for the past 5 weeks), the below video was being played in the background (no sound). For 3 1/2 minutes, I dropped every conversation which I had engaged upon and picked my jaw up from the floor as I watched this "Lifelike & Kris Menace" gem (aka, soft porn).

Although SlowStuff is our resident music video guru, I officially declare this as the best music video of all-time. Name one better. No, really...I challenge you to??

As a side note, I would like to take this opportunity to declare NYC as the greatest city in America. Why? I could rant and rave about the culture, diversity, opportunities, restaurants, nightlife, events, etc. (I really could go on for hours -- seriously)...but, the defining factor comes down to the female population which resides in Manhattan. It's overwhelming! Vegas?? Can't even compare the two cities' female population...don't even bother. I seriously moved my hotel further away from where I have been working, just because I want my morning walk to last that much longer. My head is on a constant swivel. I'm rejuvenated. I'm at peace -- I don't ever want to leave.

Enough is Enough

I've had the unfortunate luck of having to travel to NYC often for the past few months due to work purposes. Unlike my counterpart, Chieftain, who would beat off at such a proposal, the thought of spending any time in 'the city' absolutely makes my skin crawl. Its my opinion that they should put a toilet seat on top of that place because it looks, smells, and feels like crap. One of the adverse side-effects of my travels to New York has been being forced to listen to Sox/Yanks game on the radio. I'm not sure if any of you have had to stomach this, but one of their radio announcers is Suzyn Waldman and she's a miserable, stupid sh*tbag. She possesses little to no knowledge of the sport and I'm pretty sure she'd give a beener to any of the Yankee players if they would give her the time of day.....and yes, EVEN AROD (if he liked girls).

Now, even though I've always hated the Yankees, I've always had a certain amount of respect for the franchise. 26 World Series titles, 39 AL pennants, along with players like Mantle, DiMaggio, Maris, Gehrig, and Jeter...I think they warrant some degree of respect. But recently the combination of AROD's purple lips and Waldman's loose lips is too much! The Yankees are slipping and they need to get their house in order if they want to contend with the juggernaut that is the current Red Sox organization.

During tonight's game, Waldman was ranting and raving about Pedroia's comments about AROD. What is there to complain about??!!! It was an awful play, and he should be ashamed of himself. Waldman went on to explain that Pedroia has been in the majors for all of "2 and a half minutes" and didn't have the right.....THE RIGHT!!!!! Who the hell is this broad to know who does and does not have the right? I think she has the right to stick a sock in it. Furthermore, she went on to crap all over Farnsworth for giving up a HR to Crisp. Now don't get me wrong, pitchers should not be proud of giving up a HR to Coco or his dad, but show a little professionalism please! Not to mention her verbal orgasm when Clemens showed up in Steinbrenner's box the day he re-signed with the team...it sounded like she was tossing fingers in the friggin' studio. This chick is a disgrace and the Yankees and whomever hired her should be ashamed of themselves. Oh, and NY fans, it gets worse because she just re-signed a contract that has her being the 'voice' of the Yankees through 2011.

Have fun suckers.