November 15, 2007: RIP...'The Yankee Way'

Believe it folks. As if A-Rod couldn't become any more of a narcissist he will be forever known as the man that killed the 'Yankee way'. Believe it Chief. I'm sorry to break the news to you but its true. Since the goddam inception of time the 'Yankee Way' has been all about hard work, perseverance and most of all winning no matter what it takes. I hear 'Yankee Way' I think of Joe D, Mickey Mantle, Derek Jeter....in other words perennial winners. Guess what A-Rod is? You guessed it.....a friggin Munson! Not only that but the Yankees specifically said that if he opted out of his current contract and went to free agency they wouldn't negotiate with him thus ending his tenure as a Yankee. So they went back on their word. So what? Lots of people do. But in the past this certainly wouldn't have been how their current regime would have gone about business. What changed you ask. The fact that YOUR Boston Red Sox have won the World Series twice in the past 4 years....thats what! The Yankees can't take it, so they are tweeking out worse than an OCD person after a blunt.

So from a business standpoint lets think about this. Why would the Yankees re-sign A-Rod? The dude is 0-for his lifetime in the postseason. He has never.... N-E-V-E-R ....proven himself there (this year included) and the Yankees are all about winning right? Wrong! They don't give a crap anymore. All they saw is the possibility of having A-Rod on the team for beating Bond's HR record. This coming from a team that hardly needs any more PR. They are probably the most recognizable (or at least top 5) sports teams in the world. But in the end thats what they opted for. The publicity, the hoopla, the notoriety....all for the sake of not winning. And believe me they won't win. That move combined with the atrocity they gave Posada gives their hopes of doing anything for the foreseeable future about as much chance as OJ being found innocent.

Don't get me wrong I'm pumped as hell. Not that the Sox needed any help but the Yanks gift wrapped the next 4-5 years of AL East championships for them. To quote Buzz from 'Home Alone'...A-Rod....you're such a disease! You'll never win the big one and continue to fail in the postseason. I predict they finish behind TB this year. If I was a Yankee fan I'd be mad as hell that A-Rod (that rat fink that he is) stole the Yankee mystique.

Orlando

The World Needs To Know About Amanda Cicchini

For starters Amanda Cicchini makes Allison Stokke look like the chick I offered $7.50 for a handjob in Dorchester last week. Before I go any further I want to make it clear that I'm completely ripping this story off of barstoolsports.com. Normally I'd rather slide down a 20 foot razor blade into a pool of lemon juice than get a story from them BUT I feel like this is too good to pass up. Also, I'd like to give the staff over there kudos because for the past couple of weeks they've been killing it. Anyways give me a second so I can pull their cock out of my mouth.

(ahem).....OK i'm back. Lets get back to the subject at hand. This girl is completely ridiculous. Before you read on, just take a peak at the pics above then start reading again. Honestly I've never had a kid (that I know of) but I'd like to think I'd give up my first born just to touch this chicks leg right after she shaves it. And that ass?!?! Are you kidding me? It looks like she's hiding two half hams under that dress! I mean if I didn't know any better I'd think the camera was out of focus for every picture because her ass is a freak of nature. I'd venture to say if you bounced a quarter off it it would bounce at least (at least!) 20 feet in the air. Not to mention that I have an unhealthy obsession with soccer chicks. I honestly have so much more to say about this girl but I have to stop because I'm getting over-stimulated, hopefully I can put the thoughts in the comments.

Orlando

Indianapolis Has Nothing On Boston

Ok, OK so that line is a complete and utter lie. I’m not about to judge a book by its cover but I’ve been in Indianapolis for about six and a half hours and so far I’d rather stick my peter in a sliding mini-van door and slam it shut a few times rather than spend anymore time here. As soon as I touched the ground I saw a cloud of dust burst into the air like when you sit down on a dirty dorm couch that hasn’t been touched in awhile. Then after being at my hotel for awhile I decided to check out the local area for places to eat. I did a search online for restaurants in a 20 mile radius and literally 13 out of the 20 options were Arby’s. Honestly I couldn’t make this stuff up, Burger Kings are a delicacy out here.

After being discouraged by the obvious lack of decent eating establishments I decided to hit up the hotel restaurant. When I took a seat at the bar there were two smarmy brits to my right talking about how awesome it is to be British. And to my left there was a rather portly gentleman getting uniquely intimate with corn on the cob. About halfway through my meal the two smug pricks got up to smoke a cigarette and immediately after they left the corn guzzling monster pushes his plate away sits back and lets out a huge sigh and sticks his hand in his pants. He turns to me and says “Jesus Christ I hate those British f*ckers that think they know everything. I mean sure they might know the English language a little better but the superiority ends there”. I obviously starting laughing hysterically and he replied “Thank god you know what I’m talking about”. The best part about his entire diatribe was that the entire lower portion of his face was covered with partially eaten corn and the butter slime was actually dripping off of his chin making a mucus line from his chin to the bar. At this point I was so completely proud to be an American ( I knew you would be too Wimpy).

Anyways the moral of this story is 1.) Indianapolis is appropriately placed in the mid-west and 2.) while watching the Celts/Pacers game on the local FSN network I was pleasantly surprised by a gorgeous little minx named Stacy Paetz. During the second half she did a couple of reports from the sideline and the more I saw her I started to think about how the Celtics have Greg Dickerson doing their sideline reporting. Then I started thinking about how much of a pickle he was and got really mad. If the Celtics can make moves to become the best team in the NBA the least they can do is get some decent eye candy to do some meaningless sideline reporting….no? SO anyways Indy may suck but the Pacers have a waaaay hotter sideline reporter than the Celts. So in closing I’d like to say f*ck Greg Dickerson I hope he chokes on a gross Arby’s hot dog and we get some smokin’ hot chick.

P.S. I realize thats not the best picture but for starters Dickerson is tough to look at. Secondly this chick really is dope but that the best picture I could find

Enough is Enough... continued

I'm sure this will only fuel the rampant sepculation that Norman P. Orlando and myself are, in actuality, the same person... but I feel obligated to add to NPO's outstanding Public Transportation Manifesto.

Enough really is enough, but the tip of the iceberg was only barely touched here; and trust me, it will sink the titanic that is your daily commute. I'm even going to give the disgusting homeless f*cks who piss and sh*t all over the trains a pass, because a) that happens in almost every city and b) they often can't help themselves. It's the people who should be intelligent enough ride public transportation in a normal manner, but consistently and abjectly fail to do so, that are the real target of my hatred.

When people take the T, their IQ's plummet. They could be coming from MIT after winning a prestigious award for groundbreaking scientific work, but the second they get on the Red Line at Kendall Square their intelligence level drops to that of a dyslexic mongoloid 8 year old who just got hit in the head with a tire iron. They're a f*cking idiot.

Here's a few more to add to NPO's hit list:

1. Guy With Enormous Backpack

I'm not sure how much sh*t you feel you need to carry with you everywhere you go, but for f*cksake, can you at least take your backpack off and put it on the floor?! Some of these assholes wear packs that stick out at least 2 feet, and insist on keeping on their back. When they turn around, they knock into damn near everyone and everything around them, like a frickin' 3 Stooges skit. Are you hiking the Appalachian Trail buddy? No? Then take that f*cking pack off!

2. Broad Shouldered Back Leaner

Some people need to have their backs up against the seat, come hell or high water. If there are already 2 full size people on either side of you this is almost a physical impossibility, and yet some people still attempt it. These invasive f*cks will lean back and push until the squeeze in there. It's rude, uncomfortable, and deserves an elbow to the face. Unfortunately when they do this, your elbows are pinned to your sides. Just lean forward. Please. It's not that hard. I'm about as board as they come, and I somehow manage it. I've even had a guy lean back into me, and then tell me I was invading his space. Wha?

3. Unnecessary Reacher

Cousin to the Broad Shouldered Back Leaner, the Unnecessary Reacher has handle options readily available in front of them, but insists on reaching all the way across you to grab a different pole. I've had books knocked out of my hands by these dipsh*ts.

4. 300 Pound Fat Guy

This has little to do with etiquette or intelligence, but I'm throwing it in here anyway. If you're a disgusting fat f*ck that takes up two seats, I don't want to be around you. I can hear you weazing over the clatter of the train, and see the sweat under your man boobs. It's making me ill. Do you really need to be stuffing that donut in your face, and getting glaze-crumbs all over yourself and the seat next to you that no one will sit in cause you're so f*cking gross? I can't believe that you can't stop eating long enough to take a train. You know what, take a taxi, or better yet, lose some weight by walking.

Enough is Enough: A Public Transportation Manifesto

This may just be my social OCD kicking in here but do you feel that most people act like complete jerk-offs on public transportation? I mean as soon as people set foot into a train/bus station their IQ plummets and their douchebagness sky-rockets. I think we can all agree that its inevitable when you use public transportation to get to work there is going to be a certain level of unsought intimacy. However there are a few simple rules that, if followed, can make our daily commutes just a bit more enjoyable and a little less wretched.

1. To all you Moms and Dads out there please…PLEASE keep your friggin strollers off of the train/bus during rush hour(s). If you absolutely have to have your kids there can't you just carry them? I know, I’m sorry. This can come off as extremely insensitive. But I don’t give a flying f*ck. It’s the truth. A stroller is a menace on a crowded train/bus and chances are it really doesn’t need to be there. Anyone who has played a pseudo game of twister on a train because of trying to jockey around a stroller knows what I’m talking about.

2. When a flood of people are trying to get out the door at a stop and you’re the asshole in the way DON’T stand in the middle of the train! Get off, stand to the side and let everyone get out, then get back on. Its really not that hard.

Speaking of getting off the train….

3. I’m sure you’ve heard this about a million times but for some reason some people can’t grasp the concept. You’re supposed to WAIT for everyone to get off the train then get on. Regardless, every T stop I’m at there is some moron that is fighting the traffic getting off just to get on. First off, if you’re that excited to get to work you need to relax you body. Secondly if you’re that anxious to get a seat chances are you could probably use the exercise of standing.

4. Try your hardest to shower and brush your teeth. No one wants to smell your awful BO or breath.

5. Lastly, unless you are a completely blazin’ chick that smells great people really don’t want to be that close to you. Just do your best to keep your own personal space. We’re in this together guys. I mean we put a man on the moon for christ’s sake, we should be able master the art of riding the train everyday.

Any other thoughts?

Orlando

Don Shula Is Egregious...Plus This Chick Is Pretty Hot

So yet another team starts off the year with a 9-0 record. You know what that means right? Time to call the nursing homes, bust out the polyester suits and interview all those has-been old geezers that were on the ’72 Dolphins. God, I’m so sick of seeing these old assholes. Die already!. I mean these guys are probably the most pathetic losers in sports. Every time a team has a good start they start hemming and hawing about the good ole days. Then again I guess they don’t have too much else to hold on to. Most of their lives have been reduced to drinking Metamucil on a porch, while simultaneously pooping and pissing themselves. So I guess I see where they are coming from.

Anyways Don Shula was approached for an interview by the New York Daily News to get his thoughts on the Patriots season and here’s what he had to say:

"The Spygate thing has diminished what they've accomplished. You would hate to have that attached to your accomplishments. They've got it."

WTF Don? He goes on to explain the significance of the fines levied on the Patriots and Bill Belichick:

"That tells you the seriousness and significance of what they found, I guess you got the same thing as putting an asterisk by Barry Bonds' home run record.”

OK Don, you’ve got to be kidding me. Are you really equating Bonds with the current phenomenon that is the New England Patriots? You’ve completely gone over the deep end. Bonds was taking an illegal substance to physically alter his body. The Patriots were videotaping. First off, all teams do this. Secondly, the league permits this as long as you’re not on the sideline! Yes, it was a bad move by Belichick to put that camera on the field but in no way, shape or form does this compare to taking steroids.

Furthermore, I believe the fines are NOT a good indicator of the severity of the penalty. The fines are a great indicator of how psycho Roger Goodell has been since taking over the league. He’s like a crazy broad out there. He’s embarking on the same streak of levying completely egregious punishments that my mom did circa 1997-1999. Absurd!

And one last point. Whats up with people not letting go of records graciously? Hank Aaron did it, Dan Marino did it and now Don Shula/ the entire ’72 Dolphins team is doing it. Although this is nothing new for them, they’ve been known to toast champagne when the last undefeated team falls every year. Jeez fellas get a life, go watch some porn or something.

Gentlemen, its a sport. No record or player is bigger than the game. If you are fortunate enough to hold a record for any amount of time enjoy it and when your time is up don’t be a whiney friggin toddler.

Don't Sleep On Sarah Carter

Last night I watched DOA: Dead or Alive, the movie based on the video game. The game is world famous for the amount of time and money the developers spent on animating the breasts of female characters. They jiggle. They bounce. It's like every 14 year-old gamer's dream come true. And mine. They're mesmerizing.

The movie had 4 amazingly hot chicks kicking ass, and was surprisingly entertaining up until they tried (and failed) to give it a coherent plot, only to end the movie with the girls fighting... get ready for it... Eric Roberts?!

Anyway, I completely, 100%, unabashedly fell in love with Sarah Carter during the course of this movie. She out-hotted the other hotties, even the slutty british assassin/thief, and won my heart! Why have I never heard of her before?! She combines that quintessential Girl Next Door wholesomeness with a body you'd sell vital organs for. She cleans up better than a crew of Mexican maids, and looks fantastic as a dressed-down plain Jane. She's everything I've ever wanted in a woman... from a movie... based on a video game.

Schill Stays In Beantown

Reports are coming out of ESPN saying the Sox and Curt Schilling have reached an agreement on a one-year deal worth about $8 million in base salary and another $2 million in potential incentives. I'm glad to hear Schill came to his senses and wasn't sticking to that absurd $13 million number he was throwing around back in February.

Personally I'm psyched as hell about this deal. At first I was a little dubious about signing him again because he was getting up there in age, didn't exactly have a stellar season this year and I really didn't think there was room for him on the pitching staff to be honest. Then it dawned on me. Its Curt F*cking Schilling! Not only that but he's going to be a back of a rotation type guy with a bunch of studs in front of him.

At this point its a known fact that Schill is one of the most prolific big game pitchers of all time. I mean he got a third of his wins (3) in the post season this year. Yes, that means he only won 9 games this season but it also means he shows up when it counts. So why not lock this guy up for our inevitable World Series run next year? Plus, I don't think its such a bad idea to have the youngbloods on our team exposed to Schilling for one more year.

Glad to have you back Schill, here's to another championship next year.

Orlando

This weeks Brest Guest is....

Its officail, starting this week we will have "Brest Guest" of the week. Let us know who you would like to see.

For the 1st time EVER, I sweat the English accent

Let me digress, up until a month ago I would cringe at the sound of an English accent, or anyone from areas remotely close to England for that matter. Put it this way, I would rather sleep with Nightmares mother then have a conversation with someone that spoke with one. HOWEVER... after meeting my next-ex girlfriend last week, I officially sweat it. Not sure why or how this could even happen but now I find myself surrounded by it and loving every minute of it. I added the video just to add credibility.

Big thanks to nutsmagvideos.com for this.

FIGHT OF THE YEAR? TONIGHT ON HBO, 9 PM...

WBO champ Joe Calzaghe (43-0, 32 KO's) vs. WBA champ Mikkel Kessler (39-0, 29 KO's)

...60,000 fans at Millennium Stadium (Wales)!!

Calzaghe - incredible athlete, fast, left-handed, tall (for a super middle weight), fundamental, great jab, weak puncher. Must stay outside to win.

Kessler - the term "aggressive" doesn't do him justice, much harder puncher, great defensively.

...My opinion? Kessler pounces on Calzaghe, which allows him to get inside, thus, allowing him to control the fight. KESSLER WINS...

Bet on it.

Manny to Jay Leno: "Are You Related to Kevin Youkilis? You Guys Have the Same Chin." CLASSIC.

Who knew I'd be back so soon? I just couldn't resist posting Manny Ramirez's appearance on Jay Leno. Hell, who knew Manny and Leno were "car" acquaintances??

Indoor sunglasses. Diaper on the back of his head. Hugs all around. Car talk. Pounds with the "40 year old virgin". Helmet talk. Finger pointing. Manny being Manny!

Lastly, there is a 0% chance that Manny's father owned a '56 Chrysler Imperial. No chance. In this part of the interview, Leno threw Manny a curveball -- and Manny bit for it in a big way...hook, line, and sinker! This chain of events cemented the fact that Manny was going to eventually break out his Youkilis line (which we all know he had been contemplating for days now).

All in all, just an incredible 7 minutes of television...

Carmen Takes Halloween to the Next Level (NSFW)

Carmen For Halloween

Remember me...no?? Good - just the way I like it. Remember Carmen (a Win Column favorite since inception)?? Now we're talking.

Anyway, the primary reason I'm writing this post is because I promised Orlando that I would congratulate the Red Sox and Red Sox Nation on their recent World Series championship. To a million more "pink hat" fans...cheers. Was it wrong for me to wish San Diego's fires upon Lansdowne last Sunday evening?

It's probably no coincidence that I'm just now coming to grips with such fate - after all, the Celtics and Providence Friars begin their quest for dominance tonight.

In all honesty, these last few weeks have been a whirlwind. I was interviewed by CBS (Channel 2 in NY) minutes after the news that Joe Torre had rejected the Yankees' $5M (+ incentives) job offer. I was elated!! As I've said for 2 years now, Joe Torre was the worst possible manager for the New York Yankees job. The Yankees are in the midst of a youth movement. Newsflash! Joe Torre heavily favors veterans over any and all youngsters. Because Torre has made it his mission to destroy every pitcher's arm (now that Torre is a Dodger, I can only pray for Scott Proctor and his family), the "Joba Rules" were solely implemented as a defense to Torre's insanity. Torre is an awful in-game manager...he refuses to move runners along. Torre benched Gary Sheffield in the deciding game vs. the Tigers in the 2006 ALDS, the day after he batted the best baseball player on the planet (A-Rod) 8th!!! Are you kidding me???? Sheffield's presence and bat wiggle is enough to make Kenny Rogers crap himself on the mound! Torre's Yankees hadn't made it out of the 1st round of the playoffs in 3 consecutive years. Torre's Yankees hadn't won a championship in 7 years. That's $1.2 BILLION down the tubes. Where's the accountability??? Joe, I thank you for your efforts during your tenure - I loved you for years, but your time clearly expired.

Joe Girardi - step right up! What a ballsy hire...incredible hire. Passion, intensity, in-game management, film study. A new era -- a welcomed era!

Alex Rodriguez - for the past 4 years, I was your biggest fan. I defended you to death, no matter the struggles. Today, you are dead to me. You have genuinely and sincerely hurt me.

So, who plays 3B for the Yanks next year? None other than Robbie Cano. If the Yanks can sign Orlando Hudson to play 2B (defensive whiz with great bat control and plate discipline), Cano is the Yanks' 3B. You heard it hear first.

In order to avoid rambling, I need to cut this short (God, I have so much more I want/need to vent). However, I need to get something off my chest before signing off...WHO IS CORNSTARR??? Some of his stuff is funny -- but, I'm convinced Cornstarr is, in real life, "The Entertainer" from VH1's 'I Love New York'.

Will I be back for autographs? Who knows. But in the meantime, keep it gangsta...

Term of the Week

LUG

...or Lesbian Until Graduation.

This is a term that was dropped on me by a Vassar chick I play hoops with. Apparently during college many of her female peers felt it was easier to hook up with girls (Vassar being predominantly women) than pursue the few men on campus. I'm pretty sure that most of the hotties in the Girls Kissing video posted below are LUG's, and that Vassar was a panoply of incredibly attractive babes with soft, great smelling skin constantly making out with each other.

However, with graduation, and the looming resubmersion into an environment filled with c*ck, these fine ladies changed their tune upon getting a diploma handed to them and decided that they actually weren't lesbians at all. I'm not making this sh*t up, this was brought to my attention by someone who experienced it first hand, and then verified by another chick I know who went to Mount Holyoke... which is all women. It is an observed, noted, and absolutely real social phenomenon.

So here's to you, LUG's! TheWinColumn salutes you! We whole-heartedly support your crusade to make it socially acceptable for two (or three or four) chicks to make out, and then decide they want the d*ck afterall. Hopefully, with hard work and perseverance, we can get the turn around time down from 4 years to 4 hours, and transition you ladies from LUG's to LULC's (Lesbians Until Last Call).

Hey, if you're gonna dream, dream big.

World Series MVP is "Taking over the WORLD!!!"

Have to give credit to one of Normans buddies for this one.

Dont get me wrong Mike Lowell is the man and Red Sox Nation will be lost without him next year if we dont sign him. That doesnt take away from the fact that he looks like The Brain from Pinky & The Brain..... NO? You be the judge....

This Just In.....

Papelbon is dating Hiedi from The Hills!!!!

Aries Spears does hip hop impression

Aries Spears might be the funniest guy around. Enjoy the video

Is Barry Cooper A Douche Bag Or Is He Trying To Help You Get High?

I realize this story won't interest everybody (Wimpy), but for those of you who it DOES interest you may find this invaluable. NPR reported a story today that highlighted former Texas narcotics officer Barry Cooper. Cooper was basically the top narcotics officer in west Texas logging in an impressive/depressing 800 drug arrests in 8 years only now to be switching sides releasing an instructional DVD sharing his secrets to help people not get busted.

To give you a little context - after Cooper was so successful in west Texas he was promoted to a more troublesome area of east Texas where it was believed that the drug use was spiraling out of control. But, after a few months on the job, he found himself at the sh*tend of the stick when it came to small town politics. First, Cooper arrested the mayor's son for possession of methamphetamines. He then arrested a city councilman for driving with a bag of pot and a gun which inevitably gained him some very high-ranking enemies. After a few months Cooper started to get some blow back when he was arrested for theft after returning rental movies late and for unlawfully carrying a gun. These charges led to the city trying to take away his kids.

Disenchanted with law enforcement he decided to give them a big d*ckslap in the face and make some money doing it and released this video divulging his secrets.

Listen, I'm not sure what to make of all this. To be honest I'm a bit dubious. Plus I’m not 100% convinced by his motivations either. I've watched some of the clips on youtube and they haven't impressed me. My hope is that this guy isn't releasing any of the good information because he wants people to buy the DVD. I do know this; the guy obviously has a ton of experience and knows a ton about busting spaced-out stoners....right? So maybe its worth the $24.95 to find out.

I Stand Corrected...

I posted below that I couldn't possibly think of a more "me-centered" athlete than A-Rod. I was wrong. For some reason, god knows why, Kobe Bryant didn't come to mind.

However, if you saw him bitching and whining his way through the Lakers' opening night, you got a good reminder. Like Yankees fans souring on A-Rod, Lakers fans are turning on Kobe. Any why not? He's been jerking LA fans around like a girl who loves you, but you're not all that into, so you hook up with her and don't call her, but then you get drunk one night and text her so you can get some ass, and then go right back to not calling her, or maybe IM with her just to lead her on.

Anyway, Kobe gave a sulky press conference after the game because he didn't get a call at the buzzer. I'm sure the fact that his team lost last night had nothing to do with the fact that its a shell of its former self because he destroyed the chemistry that won them 3 championships, or because his egomaniacal demands continue to alienate him from his coach and team.

Robert Goulet RIP

Robert Goulet passed away today at the age of 73. I'm posting this clip as a tribute. We'll miss ya Robert. You really knew how to class up a joint.

A-Rod Makes it to the World Series!

If you think that Scott Boras didn't time the announcement that A-Rod will be opting out of his contract with the Yankees to coincide with the Red Sox World Series victory, you should check yourself into a mental ward, because you're clearly dillusional.

For those of you who missed it, Boras announced, just prior to the game last night, that A-Rod was going to test the waters to see if any other teams are foolish enough to mortgage their franchise to get him (they phrased it differently, of course, but the principal remains the same). A-Rod had until 10 days after the World Series to make this announcement, so why do it during the last game? Because he's A-Rod, the most self-serving, me-athlete on the planet. If you can think of one that's bigger, please let me know.

So instead of talking about how great the Red Sox were, or how the Rockies amazing streak came to an end when they ran into to the buzzsaw of Red Sox Nation, or how incredible it is that 2 rookies batting 1 and 2 would put up 7 runs, or how Mike Lowell went from trade afterthought to World Series MVP, we were forced to hear about A-Rod.

Poor Peter Gammons was disgusted. When asked about where A-Rod might go, he began to answer the question, then it dawned on him that the Red Sox were behind him celebrating their second World Series win in 4 years, and he was talking about A-Rod, and he put everything in perspective by ripping A-Rod on national television. This is one of many reasons for which I love Peter Gammons.

So it's official: Everyone hates A-Rod. Everyone in the league hates him because he's a prick, and the Yankees fans that rooted for him now hate him because he's leaving the team to try to get more money... so that begs the questions - Does anyone like A-Rod? Anyone?! I can't think of a red-blooded American who would stand up and say, "I'm a huge Alex Rodriguez fan." Hell, just writing it made me throw up in my mouth.

Term of the Week

Triple Crown

Traditionally, the Triple Crown refers to the 3 biggest races run by 3 year old thoroughbreds. There are different triple crowns in other countries, but in the US its the Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes, and Belmont Stakes. Winning all 3 races gives a horse the Triple Crown, and is considered the greatest accomplishment possible for a race horse.

However, there is now a second meaning to Triple Crown, as it is currently being used to refer to perhaps the worse possible end to a night of binge drinking. Surprisingly (or not, depending on the circles you run in) some people will go out and get so bombed that they puke, piss, and sh*t themselves. Accomplishing all 3 of these tasks wins the unlucky f*cker the Triple Crown, and will undoubtedly get them kicked out of whatever bar or house party they are at.

Manny Likes To Keep It Simple

First let me start by saying that that game last night was just filthy. The Sox are an absolute juggernaut right now. Beckett pitched a gem and continued to dominate the 2007 post season like a fat girl dominates the Old Country Buffet lunch special. Manny was 3-4 with 2 rbi, 3 runs and a walk but a way more hilarious stat for Manny is that he's 2-2 with naming kids. The above picture shows Manny's two kids: four-year old Manny Ramirez Jr. and 13-year-old Manuel O'Neil Ramirez. Thats right people, he named BOTH of his kids Manny! I realize this isn't unprecedented but it is highly uncommon which has sort of come to embody the idea that is 'Manny being Manny'. Just take a moment and try to imagine what some of the dialogue must be like around the Ramirez house. I say Theo locks both the Minny Mannys up ASAP. God I love Manny.

Orlando

If You're Trying To Kill Time Before The Sox Game....

I highly recommend logging in some time watching girls kiss. Its usually pretty cool. I mean at least give it a shot.

Top 10 Sexiest Halloween Costumes

Okay ladies, listen up. In preparation for Halloween, I am giving you my list of the Top 10 Sexiest Halloween Costumes. Please, PLEASE, wear one. Any one.

1.

Sexy Teacher
If you think Van Halen was lying, think again.


2.

Sexy Cowgirl
Who wouldn't want to saddle up and ride... this chick?


3.

Sexy Devil
God I love evil women. If there is anything that can make Satanism sexier, its a great pair of legs.


4.

Sexy School Girl
The all time, heavy weight champion of sexy costumes. Even moderately attractive chicks look super hot in this get up. And look Norman, she's smoking a butt! CUPID, DRAW BACK YOUR BOW!!


5.

Dirty Librarian
I'd take her to the quiet section and make her teach me the dewey decimal system.


6.

Sexy Whore
Sounds a bit redundant, but whatever...


7.

Sexy Alice in Wonderland
Actually, this makes me feel pretty dirty... and is therefore my favorite.


8.

Sexy Detective
I'd really like to do an in depth investigation of her crime scene.


9.

French Maid
This is one of the ONLY times something French is awesome.


10.

Pocahontas
Go ahead, make all the poking jokes you want.



Runners Up:


Sexy Ghostbuster
Who you gonna call?



Hot Ref
She can make all the bad calls she likes, I ain't saying sh*t.



Sexy Cop
Man, Sir Psycho Sexy was right.



Sexy Football Fan
I'd root with her all day long. NOTE: In Australia, "rooting" also means f*cking. ALSO NOTE: She's wearing kneepads!!