Sunday, April 29, 2007

Sleeper of the Century



My fellow readers of the The Win Column, I'm sure most of you share my sentiments on this subject....however, for those of you who might not be privy, please feast your eyes on what I believe to be the sleeper of the century.....Jill Wagner. I feel like this chick is waaaaaay too hot and been around waaaaay too long to not get the credit she deserves. She's been running through my dreams and appearing in Mercury commercials for the better part of 2 years. She is the sole reason I've calibrated my beating off technique to get it under 10 seconds......ok, I'm busted maybe not the sole reason but she certainly motivated my training.

To be honest, I really don't know much about this chick except she's stupid hot and has a butt that won't quit. Who among us has gotten up at a commercial break to grab a beer during a Sox game and been stopped mid-stride by this vixen and watched her prance around the Mercury Mountaineer......I thought so. Like I said, I don't know much about this chick but will look into it and get back to you, but I will say this.....if i had the means, I'd pay a $1 million bucks and my first born for a '83 Mercury Grand Marquis if I got to drive it off the lot with her on my lap.

Mahalo.

Happy 26th Birthday






While I was focusing on the NFL Draft, Yanks - Red Sox, and the NBA Playoffs yesterday, I dropped the ball on Jessica Alba's birthday.

Enjoy your Sunday - I hope this makes up for it...

Stop the Presses


I'm going to hold off on commenting on the Randy Moss acquisition (there has never been a better offseason than what the Patriots have done this year) - I'll leave that to Simply Suds.

With that said...and while mulling over every draft pick over-and-over-and-over again, how the hell did Ohio State RB Antonio Pittman (to New Orleans at #107 overall) and Louisville RB Michael Bush (to Oakland at #100 overall) last until the 4th Round?? What has been dug up on Pittman that the general public is not aware of?? When you consider that Nebraska RB Brandon Jackson went in the 2nd Round to Green Bay, this is crazy!

With the news that Brandon Jackson is the lone offensive player (I refuse to mention San Jose State WR James Jones as part of this discussion, as he may be the worst WR in this draft) that the Packers have landed, Brett Favre must be re-pondering retirement. When you consider that Randy Moss could have been had for a friggin' 4th Round pick, it wouldn't surprise me if Brett Favre attempts a TO-like suicide in the coming hours.

Best / Worst Day 1 Picks


Best Day 1 Picks - picks that make the most sense and/or best value:

  • #7 overall - Oklahoma RB Adrian Peterson to Minnesota
  • #21 overall - Florida S Reggie Nelson to Jacksonville
  • #22 overall - Notre Dame QB Brady Quinn to Cleveland
  • #23 overall - LSU WR Dwayne Bowe WR to Kansas City
  • #25 overall - Miami OLB Jon Beason to Carolina
  • #41 overall - Arkansas CB Chris Houston to Atlanta
  • #47 overall - Michigan LB David Harris to New York Jets
  • #51 overall - USC WR Steve Smith to New York Giants
  • #53 overall - UNLV CB Eric Wright to Cleveland
  • #59 overall - USC OC Ryan Kalil to Carolina
  • #65 overall - Georgia DE Quentin Moses to Oakland
  • #71 overall - Florida State RB Lorenzo Booker to Miami
  • #72 overall - Fresno State CB Marcus McCauley to Minnesota
  • #84 overall - Tennessee CB Jonathan Wade to St. Louis

Worst Day 1 Picks (picks that have left me scratching my head):

  • #1 overall - LSU QB JaMarcus Russell to Oakland -- Quite honestly, in 10 years...when we look back on this draft, I believe Russell will be viewed as the third best QB from this draft (behind Brady Quinn and John Beck).
  • #9 overall - Ohio State WR Ted Ginn, Jr. to Miami -- I like Johnson, Bowe, Meachem, Steve Smith, Sidney Rice, and Dwayne Jarrett all more than Ginn, Jr. All of the aforementioned WR's have the potential to be #1 options (the exception being Steve Smith, but that has already been discussed at length...he's a lock to be a extraordinary asset as a secondary option). Ted Ginn Jr.'s career will be very similar to that of Minnesota's Troy Williamson.
  • #12 overall - California RB Marshawn Lynch to Buffalo -- Not sold on him; has never carried a full load. Below average as a blocker.
  • #16 overall - Tennessee DT Justin Harrell to Green Bay -- Green Bay needed to land Favre another offensive dynamic weapon. If not possible, they should have utilized this pick to stockpile more mid-round picks, as they have a lot of holes to fill.
  • #27 overall - Tennessee WR Robert Meachem to New Orleans -- I rank him as the third best WR, far behind Calvin Johnson and Dwayne Bowe...but, the last position the Saints need is another WR - they were already loaded at this position.
  • #32 overall - Ohio State WR Anthony Gonzalez to Indianapolis -- The Colts' don't need ANY help on offense. Peyton Manning. Marvin Harrison. Reggie Wayne. Joseph Addai.
  • #36 overall - Houston QB Kevin Kolb to Philadelphia -- A clear indication that the Eagles' brass has ZERO confidence in McNabb (or Holcomb and/or AJ Feeley, for that matter).
  • #42 overall - Arkansas OT Tony Ugoh to Indianapolis -- See Anthony Gonzalez's above note.
  • #61 overall - Boise State S Gerald Alexander to Detroit -- Nice player, but not 2nd Round worthy. Undersized and slow.
  • #63 overall - Nebraska RB Brandon Jackson to Green Bay -- Might be the worst value pick of the draft. By default, Jackson will get plenty of opportunities to run away with the starter's job. However, both Antonio Pittman and Michael Bush went some 40 picks later.

Musings on the NFL Draft's Day 1


Lots of surprises today - some terrible, some great. Getting right to it...
  • 2 of the 3 players (Ted Ginn, Alan Branch, Dwayne Jarrett) I have been touting for months now as being overrated substantially dropped in today's draft. Branch was taken 33rd overall (1st pick of 2nd round) by Arizona. And, Jarrett was selected by Carolina with the 45th overall pick. Listen...with these 2 guys, the NFL got it right. Both have been tagged as having terrible work ethics...RED FLAG! The exception...Ted Ginn, Jr. - the 9th overall pick by Miami. Whaaaaat? Ginn is a burner - that's it! He is vastly undersized, injury prone, and tremendously raw...only knows how to run a fly-pattern and refuses to come across the middle of the field. In all honestly, Ginn will not match Wes Welker's career. The Dolphins passed on a potential stud QB (in Quinn) - something they have been desperately searching for since Marino's retirement. I don't get it??? Culpepper...Trent Green...Cleo Lemon...I don't care - Culpepper and Lemon suck...and Trent Green is a dinosaur. Ted Ginn, Jr. is an NFL kick returner. He will NEVER exceed more than 55 receptions in ANY given year...for his entire career. He's a far worse route runner than Chad Jackson. Awful pick - no way around it.

  • If Darrell Jackson is traded to San Francisco, as expected, for a second day draft pick...then, San Francisco will have had a great draft (it goes without saying that I love Patrick Willis at #11)! It's well known that I don't necessarily love Jackson, but you can't deny the fact that he would be a welcomed favorite target of Alex Smith. What I don't understand is why Seattle, a division rival, is willing to part with Jackson for so little?? Although Jackson, 28, has struggled with dropped passes in the past and is an injury concern, the fact that he is a consistent deep and red zone threat can't be overlooked. After all, Jackson hauled in 10 TD's last year -- and, compiled 87 receptions...1199 yards in 2004. The latest word has Jackson as being in San Francisco to take a physical and potentially discuss a contract extension. Stay tuned...

  • Romeo Crennel just saved his job - for probably at least another 2 years (or at least until Brady Quinn has started for a full year). Cleveland landed mainstays at the two most important positions on the field -- left tackle (Joe Thomas, #3) and quarterback (Brady Quinn, #22). Yes, the Browns gave up a ton (this year's 2nd round pick and their 2008 1st round pick) to move up and grab Quinn...but, it was a no-brainer (Charlie Frye is not the future for any franchise...it's that simple), as the Browns landed both players which they considered with the 3rd overall pick. Quinn will be the best QB from this draft (Russell doesn't impress me at all - he's got a cannon for an arm, but then again...so, does Culpepper and Leftwich). Now, Quinn is going back home and has an IMMENSE chip on his shoulder. Already deemed as an extremely dedicated worker, student of the game, and NFL ready...Quinn has something to prove to the league. Don't bet against him! And, let's not forget what Cleveland did in the 2nd round...by way of another trade with Dallas -- they acquired UNLV CB Eric Wright. Wright comes with baggage, but he is just as talented as any other corner in this draft. This kid flies (4.36 40-time speed)!! On defense, he's a risk-taker...but, also a "ball hawk". Cleveland's front office turned in the best Day 1 of any organization - and, it's really not even close.
  • I love what the Bengals did (under the radar)...at #18 overall, they took Michigan CB Leon Hall. In recent years, the Bengals have recognized they desperately needed help in pass coverage. And, they have certainly addressed this area in the past two drafts, as they selected Jonathan Joseph (South Carolina) in last year's draft with the #24 overall pick. Hall and Joseph should make a deadly tandem for many years to come.

  • Continuing on the theme which is the Bengals...they clearly aren't high on RB Chris Perry anymore. It was very surprising to see them draft Auburn RB Kenny Irons at #49 overall. I was shocked to see them not draft more defensive help with this pick. Irons won't help improve Cincinnati, at all, this upcoming season - as he'll enter the season third on the depth chart (Rudi Johnson doesn't get injured).

  • I like what "my" Giants did in the first two rounds -- Texas CB Aaron Ross (at #20) and USC WR Steve Smith (at #51). At #20, it was either Ross or OT Joe Staley. Both CB and O-Line are obvious needs for the Giants...but, the Giants went the way of best value (and, I can't blame them). Let's get it out of the way...Aaron Ross is an f'n STUD...an animal!! Size, physicality, (straight-line) speed. In '06, the Giants secondary was horrendous. Ross is a home-run player...I liken him A LOT to Asante Samuel (but, with more size). Like Samuel, Ross is very instinctive...but, isn't a great tackler in the run-game and plays best in zone schemes. My take on Steve Smith is well documented (see Friday's blog). He is going to be PERFECT alongside Plaxico Buress. Smith is your ideal #2 wideout (look no further than what he did at USC in this role). Somewhere, Eli Manning is partying tonight! Although I admittedly don't know all that much about Penn State DT Jay Alford (taken with the #81 overall pick), I can't say I'm enamored with the pick. By all accounts, Alford is clearly undersized and only a one-gap prospect.

  • Granted the Jets (because they twice traded up today) only have/had two picks in the first six rounds...they made the most of these two picks. They are both phenoms! At #14, they moved up to grab stud CB Darrelle Revis. I sweat this kid - his talent is out of this world. Big, athletic, and absolutely sticks...will excel in zone coverage! At #47 overall, the Jets landed themselves another big-time talent in Michigan LB David Harris (solid in nearly every aspect). Jonathan Vilam alongside Harris...oh my God - that is a devastating combination for years to come! Harris could play either ILB or MLB.

More analysis to follow on Sunday...

Friday, April 27, 2007

Has anyone lost their voice?

It has just come to my attention that there is an awful injustice being brought forth by The Win Column. This injustice is Free Speech. People are being silenced. Comments are being deleted.

It is in my opinion that this needs to be explained ASAP. Why is this happening? What is being posted that is so bad that it has to deleted immediately? Who is posting these comments?

And it needs to be posted to everyone.

Analysis of Phil Hughes' Debut


Even if you despise the Yankees...if you're a baseball fan, then you likely had some interest in how Phil Hughes performed last night vs. Toronto. It's not every day that the top prospect in baseball is called up.

Although his line of 4.1 innings pitched, 4 runs allowed (although 1 should have been unearned because of a terrible throw by Miguel Cairo), 5 K's, 1 BB, and the loss looks rather unimpressive...the cover doesn't always depict the whole story.

With no further ado, here is a brief (and honest) assessment of what I took away from Hughes' up-and-down performance...
  • After the 1st inning (in which you could tell he was a little nervous), he mowed down the Blue Jays lineup for the next 3 innings. During this stint, he was very impressive - as he displayed his entire arsenal. The bottom of the Blue Jays' lineup was overmatched (#2 hitter Adam Lind was as well - evident by the fact that struck out all 3 times he faced Hughes). In turn, the more prolific hitters (Rios, Wells, Frank Thomas) proved to be very tough outs -- especially Wells, whom was perfect on the night. Wells was right on every pitch that he saw from Hughes (even the ones he fouled off).

  • The temperature was low last night, so maybe that's why Hughes consistently only threw his fastball between 90-94 MPH. Either way, by the 5th inning...Hughes was down to 90-91 MPH on the gun, which is a little concerning (it should be noted that Hughes threw 91 pitches last night, his highest total of the young season). Also, as his pitch count progressed, his fastball seemed to become more flat.

  • As noted in yesterday's blog, his 1-to-7 curveball is unbelievable. His curveball is ALREADY one of the top 5 in all of baseball (the pitchers which currently possess the best curveballs are Rich Hill and Barry Zito). Believe me, it's as advertised.

  • Hughes proved that he will challenge anybody and everybody. He frequently used the inner half of the plate, something that many young pitchers stray away from.

Next start: May 1st @ Texas (vs. Kameron Loe)

Daniel Son Okinawa Punch Jab



I remember being like 10 years old when Daniel Larusso beat the hell out of that Japanese bastard in Karate Kid 2. That guy was such a prick, and was always cock blocking Daniel Son whenever he tried to get a little ass on the island. Larusso wasn't disrespecting Japan....he was even living like a local. Mr. Miagi was so proud when Daniel started meditating and then just threw an absolute hay maker at that loser. He must have pounded so much a$$ that night. Daniel probably got 45 hookers and partied until the sun came up. Because that's what I would do if I just won a karate fight against a dildo like this.

And why is it that when I typed in Karate Kid 2 into Google, I got a picture of a toddler doing a flying karate kick. The world is full of sick people. Carry on.

Today's Sleepers...Future NFL Stars



  • John Beck, QB (BYU): This guy is a future stud. If you're looking for the next potential Tom Brady in this draft, Beck is your man. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Brady Quinn (much more than JaMarcus "Culpepper" Russell)...but its Beck's intangibles which will (someday) lead him to stardom. There is not a single pass Beck cannot complete. When in the pocket, Beck is as smooth as they come. He displays a Bledsoe-like release with tremendous accuracy, to boot. Bottom line...he's an Offensive Coordinator's dream.
  • Steve Smith, WR (USC): While Dwayne Jarrett stole the headlines out in Hollywood for the past 3 years, Steve Smith will be the better NFL wideout (I promise you this). Smith is your prototypical possession receiver - he defines this term. Very, very quick. Great route runner. Great hands. Dedicated worker - been described as a "grinder". Think Troy Brown while in his prime, but with a MUCH greater ceiling. POLISHED PLAYMAKER!

Remember these names (I'm never wrong)....

Schilling Speaks


Straight from Schilling's blog (38pitches.com)...

Take Gary Thorne, John, Jack Joe or whatever his first name is, Heyman, Karen Vescey, Woody Paige, CHB, Jay Marriotti, Bill Plaschke, and a host of other people that litter the media landscape, and put them all on an island somewhere.

Does anyone stop reading their newspapers? Watching the shows they appear on? The answer to that is no. Instead of using the forums they participate in to do something truly different, change lives, inspire people, you have an entire subset of media whose sole purpose in life is to actually be the news, instead of report it. They have little to no talent at what they do and other than a mastery of the English language their skill sets are non-existent.

Watching Woody Paige or the plastered made up face of Jay Marriotti spew absolutely nothing of merit on sports, day after day, makes it easy to understand how Gary Thorne could say something as stupid, ignorant, and uninformed as he did the other night.

Before last night I’d only known who Gary Thorne was due to becoming a hockey fan and enjoying his calls of the NHL playoffs. I’ve always thought he was an awesome hockey announcer. Can’t say I’ve ever met him though so we certainly don’t know each other.

It was blood. You can choose to believe whatever you need to, but facts are facts. The 25 guys that were in that locker room, the coaches, they all know it. In the end nothing else really matters. The people that need to believe otherwise are people with their own insecurities and issues.

The only problem I have is this. If you look back, from the day of game six in the ALCS, through today, you won’t find a newspaper article, radio or TV interview in which I offered the blood, the sock, the game, any of it, as a topic. I haven’t talked about it since the post game interview room that night.

People have asked and I have answered, but the mileage the media got from the incident is all of their own making. When I walked into the room for the post game interviews and offered up my first response to the questions about the game I basically said that the night was a revelation for me. That my faith in God that evening showed me things I’d never believed.

As I uttered those words I could see pretty much every person in that room roll their eyes and smirk. That’s not what any of them wanted to hear, truth or not. That was not good copy. They needed more and what I didn’t give them, they got themselves.

I won’t belittle the night or the event because on a personal and a team level it was an incredible experience. I never took sole credit nor deserved it for us winning that game, or the series. Without Mark's home run or Bronson and Keith doing what they did out of the pen we don’t win that game. Without Derek dealing in game seven, Johnny going deep twice, David’s home run and a host of other people we don’t win the series. What came out of that series from a public perception standpoint was not how we all felt. Was I proud of what I did? Absolutely, but I also never thought for a second that was the sole reason we won.

What I experienced in NY and again in game two of the world series was a deeply religious and deeply personal thing. I’ve never been one to hide how I feel and sharing what I went through was not something I had a problem with. I’ve forsaken my relationship with the Lord far too many times and wasted far too many opportunities to glorify him and what he’s done for me in my life. I also knew the media would have a field day with the comments. Obviously I didn’t care.

That somewhat changed yesterday. My only real problem is not that Gary Thorne said something stupid and ignorant, which he did, but that without a word being uttered by anyone in our clubhouse this somehow became a major news story.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, working in the media is a pretty nice gig. Barring outright plagiarism or committing a crime, you don’t have to be accountable if you don’t want to. You can say what you want when you want and you don’t really have to answer to anyone. You can always tell the bigger culprits by the fact you never see their faces in the clubhouse. Most of them are afraid to show themselves to the subjects they rail on everyday.

So Gary Thorne says that Doug told him the blood was fake. Which even when he’s called out he can’t admit he lied. Doug never told Gary Thorne anything. Gary Thorne overheard something and then misreported what he overheard. Not only did he misreport it, he misinterpreted what he misreported.

Doug is a good friend of mine and I knew the second I saw him that he felt horrible. He didn’t have to. I knew the second I was told what had happened that he didn’t say it. I felt horrible for him feeling bad and told him to forget about it. I also knew that being the friends we are, he wouldn’t. But even after they spoke Gary Thorne still covered his ass by lying about the conversation and twisting it in a way that absolved him from blame. Tito got phone calls all day, I did as well, and some other guys did too. It’s 2007 and this team has got a great thing going. The last thing we need is an idiotic distraction that shouldn’t even exist.

So now you have the actual Doctor that performed the surgery both times, my teammates and coaches all admitting it was real (as they did two years ago), yet people still want to think otherwise. The sock from game two of the world series has been in the hall of fame for 2 years now, anyone at anytime could have tested it if they truly wanted to know. However if they do that, and realize that the blood is real, what happens to the story? I’m still convinced that the sock from game 6 of the ALCS is in someone that works in the Yankee clubhouses home.

Remember this, the surgery was voluntary. If you have the nuts, or the guts, grab an orthopedic surgeon, have them suture your ankle skin down to the tissue covering the bone in your ankle joint, then walk around for 4 hours. After that go find a mound, throw a hundred or so pitches, run over, cover first a few times. When you’re done check that ankle and see if it bleeds. It will. There was less visible blood in game two because we recognized the amount of bleeding from the first game and Doctor Morgan put extra covering to stop the blood from running to the bottom of my shoe as it did the first game.

The other great part of this is knowing that anyone that wrote anything about a ‘conspiracy’ or a ‘plot’ is someone that is so far removed from understanding how physically and mentally challenging it is to play this game at this level you can almost laugh off their stupidity. Not to mention they obviously have shortcomings, bitterness and jealousy in their own lives that should probably get taken care of.

So for one of the first times this blog serves one of the purposes I’d hoped it would if the need arose. The media hacked and spewed their way to a day or two of stories that had zero basis in truth. A story fabricated by the media, for the media. The best part was that instead of having to sit through a litany of interviews to ‘defend’ myself, or my teammates, I got to do that here. As I said earlier, believe what you need to, whatever makes you sleep better at night is probably your best bet.

The saddest part in all of this is the following. Yesterday, as I was warming up for the game, I got to see a young kid, could not have been more than 20, who had served in Iraq. He was being honored by the Orioles and threw out the first pitch. He was a double amputee who’d lost the lower portion of both of his legs serving his country. He refused to use his cane and getting to see him do that was incredible.

Instead of finding this kid and writing a story that truly matters, something that would and could truly inspire people, the media chose to focus on a story that was over two years old and a completely fabricated lie. What a job.

Someone gave me a great idea to end this once and for all. No one will ever need to bring it up again. I’ll wager 1 million dollars to the charity of anyones choice, versus the same amount to ALS. If the blood on the sock is fake, I’ll donate a million dollars to that persons charity, if not they donate that amount to ALS.

Any takers?

NBA's Top 25


As a tribute to the NBA Playoffs (and because it's a slow news day), The Win Column has compiled a list of the NBA's current top 25 all-around players. As one of a select few true NBA fans which remain...the below list disregards fantasy numbers, John Hollinger's rankings, a player's age, and/or a player's value when compared to his standing salary -- this list is all about whom are the best 25 players in the NBA today (in order)...

  1. Kobe Bryant, SG
  2. Tim Duncan, PF
  3. Dwyane Wade, G
  4. Dirk Nowitzki, PF
  5. Steve Nash, PG
  6. Lebron James, SF
  7. Kevin Garnett, PF
  8. Tracy McGrady, SG/SF
  9. Yao Ming, C
  10. Amare Stoudemire, PF/C
  11. Carmelo Anthony, SF
  12. Gilbert Arenas, PG
  13. Elton Brand, PF
  14. Allen Iverson, G
  15. Chris Paul, PG
  16. Chris Bosh, PF
  17. Chauncey Billups, PG
  18. Jason Kidd, PG
  19. Paul Pierce, SG/SF
  20. Vince Carter, SG
  21. Dwight Howard, PF/C
  22. Jermaine O'Neal, PF
  23. Ray Allen, SG
  24. Luol Deng, SF
  25. Richard Hamilton, SG

Others considered: Baron Davis, Pau Gasol, Joe Johnson, Michael Redd, Carlos Boozer, Tony Parker, Shawn Marion

You're The Best Around

The greatest Gift I could give you on a Friday with Lyrics.

Try to be best
‘Cause you’re only a man
And a man’s gotta learn to take it

Try to believe
Though the going gets rough
That you gotta hang tough to make it

History repeats itself
Try and you’ll succeed

Never doubt that you’re the one
And you can have your dreams!

You’re the best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-own

Fight ‘til the end
Cause your life will depend
On the strength that you have inside you

Ah you gotta be proud
starin’ out in the cloud
When the odds in the game defy you

Try your best to win them all
and one day time will tell
when you’re the one that’s standing there
you’ll reach the final bell!

You’re the best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ho-how-ho-own

INSPIRING GUITAR SOLO

You’re the best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you dow-ow-ow-ow-own

Fight ‘til you drop
never stop
can’t give up
Til you reach the top (FIGHT!)
you’re the best in town (FIGHT!)
Listen to that sound
A little bit of all you got
Can never bring you down

You’re the best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down
You’re the Best!
Around!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Can Someone Throw a Chicken Wing Into My Fat Mouth????


SD Padres -125 over the Arizona Diamondbacks.


I'm looking to bounce back from a bad pick last night. Who knew that Washburn could even go nine innings...that's friggin' pathetic...the A's had more swing and misses than the retard that tried to fight me in seventh grade for making the do do do do do circus song, 'cuz he hated clowns. How'd that righty nighty treat you, pal? You cost me a trip to Camp Bournedale where I could have looked at smut in my sleeping bag.

Moving on...Livan Hernandez is pitching tonight, and he's a fat piece of crap that throws puss. He pitched 1000 innings in his glory days, and that shoulder and arm are tired.....from stuffing endless amounts of KFC into his fat head.

Take the Padres tonight -125, as Hernandez will be eating hot dogs and sausages while on the $hitter by the 5th inning. He may even get Applebees curb side delivery right to the club house so he can wash down his steak with some jalepeno poppers. He's gonna get spanked!!!! Chris Young can still be an effective pitcher...and he will be tonight. The Padres win by at least 4 here. Take 'em, and pay me, or pay a hooker, since that's the only tail you'll probably get.

12 Days Until Opening Day


It could have been the titanic blast I launched into the parking lot during yesterday's BP session....but I've never been so excited to play an organized sport in my horrific 25 year old life. My life is actually this bad, that I have to count the days until I play Men's Softball with a bunch of gym class heroes and prick bastards. I'll probably yell at umpires, opposing players, and wink at any clam in the stands before I tuck in my 2 XL jersey into my boxers to get the slimming effect.

I'm dialing 9 for long distance early and often this season. For all opposing players that read this website, and I know there's a few of you, your team sucks. Go to hell, it's all about the red and navy blue.

It's also about the 3 Bud Lights I drink before the game, and the 13 after the game...but that's a whole different blackout that will be blogged about after Opening Day on May 7th.

Dial 9 for Long Distance


Barry Bonds hit # 741 last night. For some reason, I actually care. Maybe it's because he's on my fantasy baseball team....maybe it's not. I might actually start rooting for Barry Bonds. I've been on his case for some time now....but I love it when he cranks a home run into the Pacific Ocean. So what if he does or did steroids? He never failed a drug test. Neither did any of the roid heads on my high school football team. Too bad I didn't smell what they were cookin, or I'd be playing on Sundays.

Let's go Balco Bonds!

Arrowhead Stadium Abortion


The NFL Network's Adam Schefter reports that the Chiefs have been having general trade discussions with various NFL franchises regarding running back Larry Johnson. They reportedly are shopping Johnson for a high first round and multiple other picks.

Ok, someone give me a ball tap right now. Are the Chiefs dabbling in some Special K or Acid tabs this draft week? We're talkin' LJ here. He's an absolute beast, and he throws up the rock whenever he scores any of his 20 touchdowns in a given season. I know all of the losers on this website want stats...so here you go, pricks....1750, 1789, 20, 17. And that's not the amount of warrants out for my arrest after last night's debacle....that is LJ's yards and rushing touchdowns for 2005 and 2006. Take that along with the 370 yards he's averaged receiving in the last two years, and you have a guy that probably needs to go up one cup size. Seriously, he may tuck his junk into his gurtle. This guy is a stud. I don't know much about Kansas City as an actual city, except for the fact that their baseball team is loaded with gays....but, Arrowhead Stadium is one of the toughest places to play in football. I personally won at least two grand betting on the Chiefs at home this year, granted the A/R I probably did with the Carolina Panthers at 8 PM on ESPN Sunday Night football probably buried me.......but, Kansas City will regret this decision if they trade the 2nd best running back in the NFL.

Bacardi and Diet Cola......They Get the Job Done



So what if it was Wacky Wednesday and I decided to get absolutely cocked last night? Of course I played a little Drinko, put in my Kanye West "College Dropout" CD, and just let my hair down. I had an appetite for destruction, and I just felt like blacking out. So I chugged Bacardi and Diet Cola....Diet Pepsi for all you attention whores out there. The result? I woke up ass naked in my bed not even having a god damn clue what bars my current tour took me to last night. I obviously didn't hook up with any chicks, but I'm sure I told at least 4 girls that I would eat their asses last night. I vaguely remember hitting the dance floor....where I attempted to just grind dumpers and try and get a little Pokey Reese in the mix.

I'm so friggin' hungover right now that I could puke. Going to the gym was an awful idea, but I'd like to put everyone on notice. I'm down to 191 pounds, and if you think I'm stopping here...you're dead wrong. You're all going to wash your friggin' drawers on my eight minute abs. Ah, who am I kidding, I'm just gonna be a chubby kid until you put the final nail in my Coach Coffin. I hope you all choke on your lunches.

So I Kissed a Girl......So What??


Apparently, Richard Gere has got himself in some hot water because the entire country of India is burning effigies of him and calling for his head, and he didn’t even kill a cow! The sentiments stem from an incident that occurred recently in India when Gere was in town participating in a rally to help raise money for people with AIDS and orphans in the country. Towards the end of his speech, Gere reached over and grabbed Shilpa Shetty (pictured above) and gave her a little kiss on the cheek. Can you blame this guy? The chick is an absolute smoke show.

Apparently, the Indian government is on the lookout and next time Gere comes to India they are going to try and nab him and throw him in the slammer for 3 months. Normally, I wouldn’t give two $hits about Richard Gere, but this story is just completely ridiculous. Just goes to show you, whenever you try to help eliminate AIDS globally, it's inevitable that you’ll have some third-world country all over your ass.

Jacked Up for Tonight!


I've been waiting for this day for the past 2 years....

PHILIP HUGHES, 20, makes his much anticipated major-league debut tonight vs. Toronto -- at The Stadium. By all accounts, Hughes is the top pitching prospect in all of baseball.

Standing at 6'5", Hughes has been tagged as having "the best arm in camp" for the past 2 years -- by the likes of Jorge Posada and Alex Rodriguez. On numerous occasions, Jason Giambi has compared him to Roger Clemens.

Last year in the minors, Hughes dominated -- to the tune of 168 K's (and only 34 walks) in 146 innings.

Over the course of the 253 innings pitched in his minor league career, Hughes has done it all... 23-8 record, 2.24 ERA, an amazing 286:58 K-to-BB clip. And of course, the microscopic WHIP of 0.87.

Here's to hoping that Hughes' impeccable control (the issue with almost all prospects) translates into immediate success at the big-league level.

Red Sox fans...familiarize yourself with this mug - because for the next 15 years, you will be watching:

  • 93-98 MPH fastballs (mostly 4-seamers)
  • a low 80's 12-to-6 and 1-to-7 hard-breaking curveball -- which is absolutely DEVASTATING
  • a hard slider with late bite
  • an improving changeup
  • ...and lastly, a very deceiving delivery

Come October, tell me how the "banged-up" rotation of...WANG, PETTITTE, CLEMENS, MUSSINA, and HUGHES...sounds?

The Plot Thickens


The secondary story of the day (I'll get to the primary story momentarily) surrounds the hype which was Curt Schilling's "bloody" sock -- back in the 2004 ALCS.

During the 5th inning of last night's Baltimore-based telecast, well renowned broadcaster Gary Thorne insinuated that said sock was not actually bloody -- but, indeed, paint!

"The great story we were talking about the other night was that famous red stocking that he wore when they finally won, the blood on his stocking," Thorne told broadcast partner and Hall of Fame pitcher Jim Palmer.

"Nah," Thorne said. "It was painted. Doug Mirabelli confessed up to it after. It was all for PR.

In between innings, Boston-based writer Gordon Edes marched up to the Baltimore booth to further inquire about what he had just heard. At this point, Thorne continued to stress what Mirabelli supposedly told him a few years ago.

...whether this is true or not, I can't say. However, I really hope what Thorne maintains is truth. Schilling is one of the most loathsome athletes I have ever watched -- EVERYTHING he does is for PR. No?? So, the Sox sign Dice-K...and, in turn, Matsuzaka immediately becomes the headliner - and Schilling becomes an afterthought. So, what does Schilling do?? What every normal athlete would do...starts a blog! Are you kidding me?? Simply put, this guy can't stand not being the story.

Lastly, why would Thorne make this up? What incentive does he have? He's already very respected within the industry...this could only come back to bite him in the a$$. Also, if you recall correctly...this incident has been questioned in the past -- by a published GQ article and by another Baltimore-based writer.

If true, I'm sure Mirabelli made this comment while with the Padres -- when he assumed he would never again play for Boston. Hmmmm...very interesting.

Shocked and Appalled


Once again, we find ourselves seeing the pictures of Schill's bloody sock from the 2004 ALCS plastered all over the news. Don't get me wrong, I could talk about that series day and night for the rest of my life and not get tired of it. But this time, the media has gone too far. Last night during the Mid-Atlantic Sports Network's telecast of Red Sox-Orioles, play-by-play man Gary Thorne proceeded to tell a story that none other than Doug Mirabelli told Thorne 'years ago' that the red stain on Schill's sock was, in fact, not blood. Whoa!....relaaaaax buddy. Being the President of the Doug Mirabelli fan club, I obvioulsy took the news rather hard. Until the end of the game, the vibe around the Mirabelli fan club headquarters was glum as we searched for answers. All uneasiness was put to rest after the game when the word coming out of the Mirabelli camp went something like this ""What? Are you kidding me? He's [expletive] lying. A straight lie," Mirabelli said, according to The Boston Globe. "I never said that. I know it was blood. Everybody knows it was blood."

Phew! I knew Dougie wouldn't let me (and The Nation) down. Let it be known, far and wide, that as of today the Mirabelli fan club has put a bounty on Thorne's head. Trying to slander the name of arguably the best back up catcher in baseball is NOT something we take lightly. If I were Mirabelli, I'd hunt down Thorne and stick an old cum sock down his throat.

Are "Cheetah Blades" Cheating?



South African Oscar Pistorius (aka, "Blade Runner"), 20, is currently (and I stress the word, currently) an athletics sensation -- holder of world records in the 100m, 200m, and 400m events. However...up until three years ago, Pistorius had never even stepped foot on a track! After all, he is a double amputee (his legs were removed at the age of 1).

Pistorius is now one of a handful of runners around the globe who could make the Olympic qualifying time - he is less than a second away.

According to Sports by Brooks, Pistorius was allowed to compete last month at the South African national track championships - and finished 2nd in the sprints competition. Thus, he has a legitimate chance to make the South African '08 Olympic team.

BBC News has gone on to say that "the world body governing athletics, the International Association of Athletics Federation (IAAF), has already moved to block Pistorius from the Olympics, with a new rule banning technical aids."

...ok, is this a joke?? Pistorius obviously should not be able to compete in any normal Olympic events. Yes, Pistorius is an AMAZING story...in-and-of itself. That's where this story should end (he has beaten all odds and has overcome more adversity than any of us will probably ever be able to even fantasize). With that said, who knows how much of a benefit these "cheetahs" (another word for the so-called, "blades") are? Sh*t, Pistorius had NEVER stepped foot on a track before 3 years ago -- and, now he's in position to potentially qualify for the Olympics?!? Call me crazy, but these cheetahs/blades are far more unfair than any dose of steroids.

Pistorius claims, "I train harder than any of the other guys do. I put in more hours. I eat better. I sleep better. I rest better and, overall, I am more diligent." No offense, Oscar...but, aren't these attributes assumed?? I mean...obviously, you're going to "rest" better when you can't stand up!

In closing...if Pistorius is allowed to qualify for the Olympics and does, indeed, qualify...then, I assure you that I will be chopping Simply Suds' legs off in the coming weeks (while he is in his regular blackout stage).

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Even Though I'm Late....I'll Still Go 6-0 in Locks of the Day


I missed the 7:00 PM and 8:00 PM games...but have no fear, my pick is here.


Oakland A's -127.....because I said so. Bitche$.

A Real American

Being this the first post that I have contributed to The Win Column, I figured I needed to make sure the resident Poet Laurent Simply Suds would approve. So to make everyone’s day just a little brighter I present - A Real American. Turn your speakers up, Brother.

Mr. Steinbrenner...Cut Torre's Cord!


While analyzing last night's game vs. Tampa Bay...Joe Torre (in typical form), once again, gave away another one. It's getting ridiculous! Three years ago...Torre was, without argument, the best manager in the game. As a Yankee fan, I can admit that he has since become one of the worst -- and, it has transcended at an exponential rate.

Back to last night's game....
  • While leading 3-2 (in the 7th inning), Torre inexplicably pinch-ran Melky Cabrera (whom isn't fast) for Josh Phelps. This is a 1 run game!! Jeter is already out of the game -- chances are you're going to need to score a few more insurance runs to win this game (especially, when you take into consideration the Yanks' current bullpen woes). So, why on God's green earth would you pull Phelps (by the way, I'm starting to love his approach as a hitter)?? The chances of Phelps getting another AB later in the game were close to 100%. But, to make matters even worse...in the bottom half of the inning, Torre inserted Doug Mientkiewicz for JOHNNY DAMON!!! So...essentially, this was a defensive replacement turned terribly bad?? Listen up, Joe...Mientkiewicz SUCKS!! I could care less about his defense at 1B -- a first baseman's defense VERY rarely comes into play (much less than EVERY other position). To put this into perspective...Torre, in a 1-run game against Kazmir, no longer had Jeter, Damon, and Phelps as offensive options. His defensive alignment had worsened at SS and CF, but had been upgraded at 1B!! And, sure enough...both automatic outs, Cabrera and Mientkiewicz, were mowed down by Al Reyes in the 9th! Joe...from me-to-you -- you suck!!

  • The Yankees bullpen is currently on pace to throw 673 innings this year -- which would shatter the all-time record of 601 innings. However...after 81 pitches, Torre yanked Chien-Ming Wang. Fine - I guess I can live with that, considering this was his first start from coming off the DL (although the injury had nothing to do with his arm - and has been throwing throughout the entire stint). What I can't fathom is why Torre lifted him in favor for Luis Vizcaino (whom I may bomb before season's end)??? But...to make it EVEN better, Torre opted to intentionally walk Rocco Baldelli -- immediately upon Vizcaino's entrance. Ok, let's get something straight...Vizcaino has issued twice as many walks as he has strikeouts this year -- he can't throw an f'n strike to save his life, yet you bring him in to purposely throw 4 balls??? TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE! Joe, you never bring in a pitcher to intentionally walk someone. Never! So, now...the bases are loaded with 1 out -- the Yanks are obviously hoping for a double play. HELLO! Joe, you just took out your one double-play artist (in Wang) -- all he does is induce groundballs! In turn, Vizcaino owns a career groundball-to-flyball ratio of 0.88 (which is terrible). It took me less than a minute to do this research, yet Torre has oodles of stats in front of him and watches these guys work on a daily basis -- and still can't figure out how to manage the game! So, what happens next...Vizcaino gets Brendan Harris to softly fly out. 2 outs. Out comes Torre...in comes Mike Myers. Let's get one thing straight...Mike Myers is a boob! Myers is supposed to specialize in tapping out lefties. However...for the past 2 years, lefties have hit him better than righties. That's when the light bulb should go off -- Myers is no longer a specialist of ANYTHING. Yet...in typical Joe Torre fashion, he continues to trot Myers out there -- and Myers continues to get tattooed. This time...by giving up a grand slam to Carl Crawford. This has become commonplace. I'm sick...

...someday, I swear to you -- Torre will finally realize that Brian Bruney is his best option at getting to Mariano Rivera.