Elijah Dukes and Pacman Jones Need to Unite

As a follow-up to last week's Elijah Dukes' ex-wife's radio interview, Elijah called in to the same radio station to refute all statements. Believe me when I tell you, you MUST follow the jump (once doing so, click the link which is included in The Big Lead's first paragraph) to listen to this 10 minute interview. It's nothing short of incredible! Elijah Dukes is entering Mike Tyson territory! I cannot reiterate enough just how bat$h*t crazy this man is.

http://thebiglead.com/?p=2580


Some highlights of Elijah Dukes' ex-wife's interview:

• Dukes has been diagnosed as bi-polar and is a "good husband when he’s on his medication".
• She’s trying to figure out which 17-year-old slept with her ex-husband, because "those girls have kept my children before".
• Elijah’s most frequently-used pickup line is: "I want you to have my baby" - and he follows that up with, "Can I be your first baby daddy?"
• Dukes once told his ex, "seeing my sisters and my mom with so many men, I don’t trust women".

In turn, Elijah responded with these gems (you're doing yourself a SEVERE disservice if you don't listen to the radio interview - see above link):

• He talks about the value of crack in the hood. "$100 of crack...what...everybody knows you can turn that into $200 in the hood."
• On the 17-year-old he knocked up: "We and her did something one-time … I know for a fact, I know for a fact … if that’s my child, why does it have to be broadcast?"
• His mother never smoked crack, and he never said that she did. "Some people say my momma...some people say my momma was on crack...but, hell...I was in her stomach."
• "When did I get in trouble for domestic violence over the last year and a half?"
• "Elijah, do you need help?" "No! Do I need guidance? Yeah, I need guidance … I went to jail for breaking a remote control."

Pacman Jones..."Rain" Was in The Forecast

I get it...Pacman Jones' posse was involved in yet another strip club shooting in Decatur, Georgia early this morning.

Ho-hum...blah, blah, blah. Was this not expected?? For all I know, Vegas was running over/under odds on such a incident. When it comes to Pacman, it's never a matter of "if"...it's only a matter of "when".

According to Atlanta Action News, witnesses told police that a man claiming to be a suspended football player became angry when a group of men approached a woman with him and asked her for a dance. The woman was not a dancer at the club. The man police think is Jones became upset and threatened the men. That group told police they left the club and were driving away, but were followed by several armed men. Police said it appears both groups opened fire, leaving one SUV riddled with bullet holes. One person was injured by flying debris during the shooting.

I'm convinced that there is no man in America which loves him some strip clubs more so than Pacman Jones. It's amazing.

Happy Father's Day

It's going to be a busy day for these guys...

• Calvin Murphy - 14 illegitimate kids by 9 different women. THE CHAMPION (unless you wish to discuss singer Jay Hawkins, who had a confirmed 57 kids...and possibly as many as 75).
• Ray Charles (no, he's not an athlete...and, yes, he's dead...but, impressive nonetheless) - 12 kids in total, 9 in which were illegitimate. I know he was blind all all, but come on...after a while, you'd figure this excuse would have run it's course.
• Evander Holyfield - 9 illegitimate kids.
• Willie Anderson (ex-San Antonio Spur) - 9 illegitimate kids. Couldn't score on the court, but didn't miss in the bedroom.
• Shawn Kemp - 7 illegitimate kids by 6 women. THE FACE OF FATHER'S DAY. Side note...are those the worst jersey's you've ever seen (above photo)??
• Derrick Thomas - Died at the age of 33, but still had enough time to pump out 7 illegitimate kids with 5 different women.
• Larry Johnson (the basketball player) - 5 kids with 4 different women, 3 of which are illegitimate.
• Vlad Guerrero - 4 kids, all with different women. Further proof that he will swing at absolutely anything!
• Santonio Holmes - 3 illegitimate kids by 2 women...BEFORE LEAVING COLLEGE!
• Shannon Sharpe - 3 illegitimate kids with 3 women, all within a year of each other. Fact...all resemble Barbaro.
• Willis McGahee - 3 illegitimate kids in a 2 year span while in Buffalo.
• Greg Minor - 3 illegitimate kids.
• Ricky Williams - 3 illegitimate kids.
• Priest Holmes - 3 illegitimate kids.
• Chad Johnson - 3 illegitimate kids.
• Noel Devine - (the top HS running back recruit...could be headed to West Virginia) - rumored to already have at least 2-3 illegitimate kids.

Special thanks to 100 Percent Injury Rate (http://100percentinjuryrate.blogspot.com/), as they also compiled a list including most of these names.

Who's Crazier...Elijah Dukes or His Mother??

When the news broke that Elijah Dukes had impregnated a 17-year-old foster kid living with his grandmother, the St. Petersburg Times interviewed Dukes' mother to get a reaction. In the original article that appeared in Wednesday's newspaper, they included the following quote from Phyllis Dukes:

"Every time one of those whores lays down with my baby, they end up pregnant," she said. "That's right. And I'm tired of them."

This is great. I have little doubt that someone in the Dukes' family is going to kill this pour soul/teenager before this unlucky newborn is born.


(Credit for this quote should be given to The Fanhouse -- http://sports.aol.com/fanhouse/)

The Cincinnati Bengals Belong In a Zoo

You know you are a piece of $hit when you are accused of assaulting a 16-year old boy while riding around with your friend (teammate Reggie McNeal) in a car. Chris Henry has been arrested about 67 times in the last 3 football seasons. It's clear as day that this retard belongs behind bars in the worst way. He's pretty much a wild animal that does whatever the hell he wants, whenever he wants. Chris Henry has charges of marijuana possession, concealed weapon charge, DUI, providing alcohol to minors of the ages of 18, 15, and 16 in his car (aka Marcus Vick special), failed NFL drug tests.....and now you can add an assault and battery charge (should this allegation warrant an arrest).

Good for you, Chris Henry. You supposedly tossed beer bottles at the poor kid as he tried to walk down the street. You seriously need your a$$ kicked badly. You're a piece of $hit, that really serves no purpose in this world. The Republican in me would like to sentence you to the death penalty for being such a useless jerkoff to this world, but I know the liberal a$$holes that read this website will probably petition to save your sorry, worthless life.

So kids, what's the moral of the story? Do drugs, buy booze for kids in high school, get c*cked and drive, carry tons of guns, and throw beer bottles from your car at kids walking down the street. Sounds pretty ridiculous, huh? Should these charges stick, Chris Henry should never see a football field again. He can take his $300K salary (that should be much more if it weren't for him trying to be an original gangsta) and shove it up his a$$. The sad thing is that Chris Henry is a beast when he's on the field. He catches everything in sight and has a nose for the end zone. But the only end zone he should sniff this year is Pacman Jones' grundle.

Hey Chris, Simply Suds says you're a friggin' jerkoff that should be on the chain gang. Go to hell. You're a disgrace to the game of football....and you should be locked up in a cage.

Elijah, Invest In Some F*cking Rubbers You Creepy Bastard

A 17-year old girl living with a relative of Tampa Bay Devil Rays outfielder Elijah Dukes has informed police that she believes she is pregnant with Dukes' child. She told investigators that her and Dukes had consensual sex on a living room couch. Am I the only one hysterically laughing yet? Apparently being the psycho that he is (he's left messages on his ex-wife's cell phone in the past, allegedly threatening to kill her), Dukes was so angry at the girl when she told him that according to the girl:

"Yeah, we sat down and told him and he got mad and threw a Gatorade at me."

Should this allegation prove to be true, this will mark the 6th child Dukes will have with 5 different women. Dude, that's f*cking retarded! He'll be 23 years old on June 26th, which means this 22 year old bastard has fathered 5 kids already....wow. I mean, is this guy so horny that he has to bare back everything? He is set to earn $380,000 this year...I mean, can't you invest in some Trojan Magnums to cover up your huge hammer that seems to leak super sperm whenever you get laid? You have to be a real scumbag to father 6 kids with 5 women. And how about the fact that he chucked a Gatorade at the baby's mama after she told him. She is 17 years old for Christ's sake....she was probably thrilled to rock a Major League ballplayer....but then she has to get assaulted by a pervert like Dukes? The Win Column doesn't have too many standards when it comes to getting laid....but I'd officially like to announce that Elijah Dukes has also earned "Pickle of the Week" honors as well. Wear a friggin' condom you creep. $10 bucks will save you about $100,000 a month in child support. You better hope you swing a hot stick and get a nice contract....otherwise, you'll be selling crack and flippin' burgers because it's obvious you have no standards and zero respect for anything other than your desire to smash clam.

It Was Only A Matter Of Time

Well, the inevitable Mike Vick / Ron Mexico dog fighting T-shirts have hit the eBay market.

I fully expect Lytedogg to be rockin' one of these the next time we see each other. Don't let me down...

http://cgi.ebay.com/Dog-Fighting-Michael-Vick-T-shirt-jersey-falcons-2007-X_W0QQitemZ110132586320QQihZ001QQcategoryZ15687QQtcZphotoQQcmdZViewItem

It Ain't No Crime

Clinton Portis and Chris Samuels came to the defense of Mike Vick yesterday in an interview from mini camp. Apparently, they don't think that betting on dogs to rip each other into piles of flesh is a big idea, never mind a crime. Portis did most of the talking, while Samuels tried to play comedian in the background, chiming in whenever he felt necessary. Some memorable quotes from the Portis interview were:

"I don't know if he was fighting dogs or not," Portis said. "But it's his property; it's his dogs. If that's what he wants to do, do it."

"I know a lot of back roads that got a dog fight if you want to go see it. But they're not bothering those people because those people are not big names. I'm sure there's some police got some dogs that are fighting them, some judges got dogs and everything else."

"Then I think he got cheated....You're putting him behind bars for no reason -- over a dog fight."

Wow Clinton, I used to think you were a weird prick before whenever you'd show up to Wednesday interviews in your latest drag queen attire....but now I just think that you are just that stupid. Based on your opinion, if I own a property, I should be able to do whatever the hell I want on it, because it's my property. You obviously believe in the Dukes of Hazard mentality that if you're on my property, I can tuck in my flannel shirt and put a shotgun shell right through your chest....even if its a girl scout trying to peddle some cookies. You dumb prick. I don't know what kind of mud hut you grew up in, but there are actual laws in this country. Just cause you have a fat wad of chaw stuffed in your gum, rockin' on the old front porch, doesn't entitle you to do whatever the hell you want. Maybe I should just start an enormous prostitution ring out of my house, after all, I can't get in trouble right? I can't even imagine what kinds of weird crap goes on at your house. You probably have guys tied up in all those fruity wigs and glasses. Concentrate on staying healthy, and don't worry about other people's problems.

Oh, and hours after his little banter above, the Redskins clearly made this boob release a public statement:

"In the recent interview I gave concerning dog fighting, I want to make it clear I do not take part in dog fighting or condone dog fighting in any manner."

Good for you, Clinton. You sound like John Kerry, the flip flopper!

Pacman's Main Man

According to FanHouse...

Cincinnati's NBC affliate WLWT is reporting that Chris Henry failed a court ordered drug test and is likely facing jail time. The testing was part of his probation agreement with the state of Florida in that weapons charge he copped last fall.

Kenton County prosecutor Gary Edmondson said the next move is up to Florida, where Henry was on probation for two years, served 100 hours of community service, attended a firearms safety class and forfeited the 9 mm gun he pulled during a skirmish in downtown Orlando.

But, that's not all! Henry also has an 88-day suspended sentence in Kentucky and a 30-day suspended sentence in Ohio and this little slip up could mean both states (along with Florida) may further reprimand Henry.

Henry is currently suspended for the Bengals' first eight games of the season, but could have the suspension lengthened if he gets in any more trouble. Well, this violation probation defines "more trouble."

Who is the biggest punk currently employed by the NFL...Henry, Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson, or the Vick family?? Randy Moss and TO are choir boys compared to these misfits.

As a side note...is that his high school jersey that Chris Henry is rockin' in the above mug shot??

Jack Lambert Would Bite Your Face Off

Hey Mike Vick, listen up you friggin' punk. You're a disgrace to the game of football, the city of Atlanta, your owner Arthur Blank, and your new coach Bobby Petrino, who doesn't really need any distractions entering his first season with your pathetic offense. You got Joe Horn, who when healthy, will be the most legitimate weapon you've ever had. No more excuses. I think you look like a complete jerk when you throw the ball downfield....and if you hadn't had Crumpler for the last few seasons, you're numbers would resemble the local Pop Warner QB who hands off 98% of offensive plays and only plays 9 games. I personally got a good laugh at the earlier post about you being one of the best athletes in the world. Someone actually thought you'd be a shut down corner in the NFL....I have no idea how one would come to believe something so asinine, but hey, people are naive.

You organized a pit bull fighting ring on your property. Admit it, you did. How can you not know that there are beast pit bulls biting each others dic*s off at your own house? The "I didn't know what was going on" excuse is lame, shameful, and pretty much sums up your entire life. You used to spread herpes around from city-to-city like Johnny Appleseed under your alias "Ron Mexico" until some hooker actually had to sue you to smarten you up. You obviously had pot in that water bottle at the airport, but there just wasn't enough evidence to charge you with anything, or you probably gave the officer a rolled up $100 bill with coke residue on it. You're a jerk, your brother's a punk, you're both complete douchebags. If it weren't for football, you'd be in jail. You don't give a damn about anything except Mike Vick. I'm sure you're the kind of teammate that I'd like to clock right in the side of the head. Prima donna attitude, show up whenever you want....you loser. If Jack Lambert were your teammate, things would be different, real different. The greatest middle linebacker of all-time would bite your friggin' nose off and spit it on the 50 yard line out of spite. These days of glory football are long over...but I'll tell you what, that's the way it should be. There needs to be an enforcer on each team to keep the degenerates like you from getting out of line. Step out of line, guess what...Jack will fight you after practice, during practice, or at the local bar while you're at the jukebox. You need your a$$ kicked, and I think a 1973 Jack Lambert would be just what the doctor ordered.

Have another lousy season. You suck at QB. Break a leg.

How 'Bout a Lifetime Ban

The NFL has suspended Titans cornerback Pacman Jones for an entire season.....wow.......I mean does this guy even really give a damn? He's probably at a strip club right now as I type this....throwing stupid amounts of money at more chicks than I could ever imagine. What an a$$hole this guy is. What a punk. What a goddamn disgrace to the game that I risked my life to play. If I wasn't 5'8....I'd find Pacman Jones and smack his mouth. Granted I'd probably get whacked Sopranos style...but seriously, it takes a real douchebag to get arrested this many times in such a short period of time. Buddy, you're in the NFL...you made it....what the hell are you doing? Your days of living like 2Pac are over.......you have a gigantic contract and all the talent in the world. How 'bout making a difference? Nah...that doesn't sound chill, right? I have an idea....lets just get hookers and AK 47's and just take the town by storm. Hell, let's get blow, weed, and let's pahty. You're a friggin joke. I hope you never get to play football again. Sure, you'll be richer than me....and I'm sure you probably tuck your meat into your tube sock....but....well....nevermind, I guess you win there buddy.