WHAT THE.....??

Nicole Scherzinger, of the Pussycat Dolls, is dating Talan, from Laguna Beach??? Considering Nicole Scherzinger is in my Top 5 (in the past, I have dedicated fantasy sports team names to her), I have no idea what to even say. I'm speechless.

Mike Tyson's Greatest Interview Moments

Amazing stuff...enjoy!

Who is Today's Best "Pure Athlete"?

Over the weekend, Chuck-Diesel and I got into an intense debate relating to the best athletes in the world today.

How did the debate start in the first place? Well, we were discussing Mike Vick and his propensity for dog-fighting. The discussion later transformed into whom is the best "athlete" in sports today.

Diesel's primary argument was that Vick is the best athlete...any sport -- because he believes Vick could play QB, RB, WR, and/or CB at an elite level in the NFL. In turn, I couldn't disagree more. While I rank Vick as one of the 10 best athletes, he doesn't come close to that coveted top spot. Why? Because not only could he not play at an elite level at all of the aforementioned positions, but he can't even perform as expected at the one postition that he has been groomed to play for his entire career.

WR??? Pleeeeease -- Vick can't grasp any offense which is thrown at him, yet you think Vick could learn the art of route running? As a wideout, running crisp routes is more vital for success than any amount of speed. If speed was the end-all to be-all for a WR, then why isn't Bethel Johnson on his way to the Hall of Fame? Vick has limited athletic attributes -- speed and quickness. Nothing else.

So, this debate got me thinking about "my" list of today's best "athletes". What defines a "pure athlete"?

Speed. (Lateral) quickness. Jumping. Hand-eye coordination. Reaction time. Endurance. Strength. Power. Flexibility.

But, there are other secondary attributes which must be considered -- such as:

Leadership. Clutch factor. Mental capacity (IQ for one's particular sport).

Without further ado, here is my comprised list (no hockey or soccer players allowed), in order:

• Jose Reyes
• Lebron James
• Reggie Bush
• Kobe Bryant
• Calvin Johnson
• Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
• Mike Vick
• Amare Stoudemire
• Jeremy Bloom (SLEEPER)
• Allen Iverson

Athletic Abortions

ESPN's Outside the Lines ran a controversial story this morning regarding NCAA policies with respect to female athletes. According to the report, some schools have written policies saying any student-athlete who becomes pregnant will lose her athletic scholarship, and that many athletes have abortions because they don't want to lose their scholarships.

At Clemson, 7 athletes told ESPN they had abortions (and it's suspected that others did not report such instances). There are apparently no firm rules governing how colleges or the NCAA deal with pregnant athletes, but many athletes say it's clear to them that if they want to continue to have a scholarship, they can't miss playing time because of a pregnancy. Syracuse forward Fantasia Goodwin played last season while she was seven months pregnant and hid that fact from the team.

...The part of this story that had me in stitches was the report relating to Clemson. I don't know why, but I couldn't stop laughing. What are these chicks doing?? If you're going to continue sleeping around, either utilize a condom or go on the pill. It's quite simple. I realize that neither of these proposals are 100% guaranteed...but if implemented, I can assure you that 7+ female athletes from one school would not be scheduled to pop out toddlers.

Who else, besides me, is interested in seeing the statistics relating to the Rutgers basketball team??

Brett Favre is Delusional

Reports have come out that Brett Favre requested that Green Bay trade him (2 or 3 days following the draft).

Favre, who is currently at home and does not plan on attending mandatory minicamp (being the "leader" that he is), has not hidden his disappointment with the Packers this offseason. He's been specifically vocal and upset over the Packers inability to land Randy Moss, who eventually went to the New England Patriots for a 4th round draft choice.

"I don't know if I've lost faith, and I think everyone in the organization wants to win. I just don't know if it includes me. If it's going to be five years from now, I'm not going to be here. This is 17 years for me and I want to win."

Let's get one thing straight, Brett -- Randy Moss was ONLY interested in the Packers before the Patriots got involved. He wanted out of Oakland, no matter what. But, do you really believe that his ideal situation would have landed him in Green Bay -- a team with no viable QB, RB, defense, and coach?? Brady, Belichick, and Super Bowl rings......or...exactly, you get the point!

Brett -- do everyone a favor...RETIRE! You've had a great career, but you're now a headache for the franchise. You no longer have any discernible talent...other than aimlessly throwing the ball up for grabs (well, maybe that's the sole reason you wanted Moss). For the past 2 years, you have been one of the league's worst QB's...38 TD's coincided with 47 INT's. Look in the mirror, and accept your fate -- because the team's lack of success begins and ends with YOU! Green Bay is in a rebuilding mode, yet your stubbornness to continue playing will not allow them to rebuild.

You want to be traded?? Name one team (other than the Bears) in the NFL that is a QB away from contending. The Packers aren't trading your services within the division, so you're sh*t out of luck. On an established franchise, you'd be a pouting backup!!

Do Da Heizman On 'Dat Ho

Memo to Reggie Bush -- take notes...

Reggie Bush Loves Sloppy Seconds

The latest rumor links Reggie Bush with Kim Kardashian. One word comes to mind...IDIOT.

Yes, Kardashian possesses a jaw-dropping chest...but, come on -- this is the best Reggie Bush can pull?? He's one of the most popular athletes in the world, for Christ's sake! He should have his picking of any strange that he so chooses. Instead, he opts for this boob?? Kardashian has banged and made sex tapes with every D-List celebrity in Hollywood. Reggie...you're better than this -- step your game up!

Did Someone Mention Diane Lane??

Call me crazy, but I've had a HUGE crush on Diane Lane ever since the movie, Unfaithful, was released. Coincidentally, Lane was nominated for an Academy Award as Best Actress for her performance in this movie.

Diane is a freak, in every sense of the word. Either that...or she's a really, really talented "actress". Sh*t, she's the daughter of former Playboy centerfold Colleen Farrington.

In all seriousness, I've watched Unfaithful (say what you want...I don't care) several times now...just to see her get plowed all movie long -- in the apartment, in the hot tub, in the stairwell, and in the public restroom!

Diane - you may be 42, but believe me when I tell you...I'd be down to teach YOU a few things. Believe that!!

Ode to the Over 40 Club

I was recently reading an article about Maria Bello (pictured above), and not only was I archiving the pictures for later spanktravision use, but I got to thinking about the HUGE number of smoking hot chicks that are out there, over 40, that I would absolutely lose a limb for in exchange for a sick make-out session, and maybe some heavy petting. So, maybe I find older women more attractive than the average bear. Hell, I'd even start an over 60 Club, with the charter members being Sofia Loren, Bridgett Bardot, Raquel Welsh (pictured above), and Ann Margaret (I know what you're thinking, but before you do...do yourself a favor and google these chicks and be honest with yourself). I mean, they say chicks don't hit their sexual peak until they're 45, right? So if what they say is true, these chicks are prime targets. I, for one, wouldn't mind being shown a trick or two by some 40+ year-old vixen who's been around the block a few times.

I encourage any and all feedback, but a few names I'll throw out there as charter members for the over 40 Club are Maria Bello, Vivica A. Fox, Diane Lane, Sheryl Crow (so what if she doesn't wipe) and Heather Locklear. Have at it boys....

Because It's Friiiiiiiiiiiiiiday

"I know you don't smoke weed, I know this; but I'm gonna get you high today, 'cause it's Friday; you ain't got no job... and you ain't got $hit to do!"

This video looks like a typical day on the college house porch before and after class. God what I wouldn't give to go back to college. I'd probably black out even harder than I do right now. There's a good chance I'd have 5 write ups before the sun went down on the first day of orientation. I miss seeing hot chicks in sweatpants in the cafeteria, and giving them the creepiest hungover stare you've ever seen a male human perform. I miss skipping class and getting absolutely cocked on Keystone Light. I miss thursday night keg parties and punching holes in the wall after missing every shot. Will one of you goddamn losers invent a time machine so I can go back to the Motley Crue days of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Someone should invent an 8 year college, where you take like 2 classes a semester. Imagine how rocked you'd get if you only had 2 classes? Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go make a funnel and chug beers until I puke on the side yard.

Random Hot Chick of the Day - Leticia Cline

Gentlemen, and ladies that appreciate how hot chicks really are, I present to you the random hot chick of the day, Leticia Cline, 29 and from the USA.

Leticia is a smokin' hot chick, that's clearly obvious to anyone that has any pigmentation in their miserable retnas, but what you don't know about this southern bell, is that she's very smart too, which I know a lot of our readers out there really care about. She is of Irish and Swedish decent, and has a degree from the University of Kentucky with a double major of psychology and finance. Just when you thought she couldn't get any hotter, she is also a Certified Public Accountant, too, so she can cook your books, cook your dinner, and toss around steamers at any time of the day.

Leticia, I don't know you...but I think we should date. Sure, you're way richer than I am, and you're probably taller than me too, but I have no problem being your personal slave and man wh*re until you want to drop me off on the side of the road in Kentucky and watch me get chased by redknecks and wild boars. I'd even sleep in a kennel outside, so I won't take up too much of your king sized bed which is probably as soft as a cloud and smells like body spray. Call me, we can make moves....and get weird if you want.

Take That Toddlers

A Japanese hospital in Tokyo has established a new "drop-box" center for women who want to give away their babies quickly and painlessly. Once the baby is dropped off, and the mother skiddaddles....there is an alarm that will go off to alert nurses that there is a new toddler that's ready to join the crew.

Huh? I feel like I just smoked some laced goods and wandered around the enchanted forest for 5 hours while I have panic attack, after panic attack. I know there is a population problem in Asia....but a toddler drop box??????? Wow, I've always said all along how smug toddlers are. Most people would probably say this system is probably a good way to prevent abortions and abandonments in crowded places. How do you feel now toddlers? We're taking back the world from you. You're such a drain on the economy and society that we're establishing places that we can leave your smug a$$es and go back to our normal lives. I bet you toddlers thought you'd get a little TLC with your binkys and "goo goo gah gahs," WRONG!!!!!!!!!! Now you're someone else's problem. All you do is eat, crap, and cry...and although that sounds like a normal day for most of the degenerates that read this website....frankly, I'm sick of toddlers.

Where's your Tonka truck, toddler? I threw it on I-495 and watched cars crush it into smithereens....so go cure Cancer or AIDS and do something productive, you smug bastards.

I Love Me a Good Cat Fight

I saw a pretty decent cat fight last night at the bar. Actually, even better, it was in the parking lot after the bar. Some girl tried to throw a sucker punch, and wiffed miserably....which is where the panther absolutely pounced on its prey. Hair pulling, slapping, even a couple of closed fist shots were thrown in there in the 20 second altercation. I had front row seats, and I wish I had a bucket of popcorn, because I could have watched that all night long!

What is it about cat fights that get guys so riled up? Do you even have to ask that damn question? It's two chicks going blow for blow in a no holds barred cage match. There are articles of clothing that could be ripped off at any second, which gives perverts, such as myself, the opportunity to see what kind of goods they're workin' with. From my experience, the Bra, or brasiere, is the most commonly exposed article of clothing after a cat fight. Do I mind seeing a nice pair of breasts in a nice bra, absolutely not. I think the female body is the greatest thing in the world, slipping right ahead of Bud Light. And when you mix the two......dim the lights.....we can make magic happen.

There's about to be....a what????? GIRLLLLLLLL FIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTT.

You Can't Make This Stuff Up!

The Eagle-Tribune reports...

A former teacher from Haverhill was sent to jail for 2 1/2 years yesterday after admitting that he had violated the terms of his probation on an earlier rape charge by surfing the Internet and setting up a MySpace page. Gregory Pathiakis, 27, of 6 Colonial Farm Road, appeared stunned as he was ordered into custody by Lawrence Superior Court Judge Richard Welch.

“You’ve been given a break and you’ve blown it,” Welch told Pathiakis, who pleaded with him for another chance. Pathiakis (pictured above) had been on probation after he pleaded guilty last year to raping a 15-year-old student on the South Shore. “I readily admit my judgment was awful in this case,” Pathiakis said. But the prospect of being sent to jail “has scared the daylights out of me. I will do anything to avoid going to jail,” he pleaded, offering to submit to house arrest and quit his jobs if it would keep him out of jail.

In January 2006, Pathiakis, a Methuen native who is a graduate of Central Catholic High School and the son of an Andover police sergeant, pleaded guilty in Brockton Superior Court to statutory rape, child enticement, and child pornography charges. He received a suspended 2 1/2-year sentence and five years of probation. The charges stem from incidents that occurred in December 2003.

Pathiakis had been working as a teacher at Middleboro High School, but resigned after school officials confronted him about inappropriate online contact he had with students. Three weeks later, Pathiakis invited a 15-year-old male student to watch a hockey game and then brought him to his Brockton apartment, where they had sex. They had also exchanged e-mails. The teen initially told investigators that he had been forced into having sex in Pathiakis’s Jeep, but later acknowledged that there had been no force and that the act had taken place at the teacher’s apartment. The student was just a few weeks shy of his 16th birthday, and therefore legally below the age of consent.

Now-retired Judge Suzanne DelVecchio said at the time of sentencing that was one of the factors she considered in giving Pathiakis a suspended sentence. Since being given probation, Pathiakis has lived in the Merrimack Valley, for a time with his parents in Methuen and more recently in Haverhill. He worked two jobs, at a Marblehead-based airport shuttle service and at a Chili’s in Andover, his lawyer said. Because he was living in this area, his case was transferred to Lawrence Superior Court. But Welch said that Pathiakis did not take advantage of the break he was given, even though he had been warned not to use the Internet except for work-related reasons.

“Obviously, there have been repeated violations,” said Welch, after looking at a stack of printouts, including a MySpace page under the name “Stoneice02,” an entry about hockey authored by Pathiakis on the Wikipedia Web site, and the results of Internet searches for pornography. The MySpace page featured a photo of Pathiakis and another man, and listed his hobby as “drinking” — another thing the judge had barred him from doing while on probation. All the while, Pathiakis repeatedly told his probation officer, David Barretto, that he was not using the Internet. Barretto urged the judge to impose the suspended sentence. Defense lawyer Fred McAlary described his client’s violation as “technical,” saying “The Internet is a way of life for young people today.” He asked the judge to give Pathiakis another chance. Welch disagreed, calling the violation “substantive.” The judge made his comment after hearing from the victim of the rape and the teen’s mother, who told the judge yesterday, “I really believe he hasn’t learned his lesson.”


Ok, for those of you who don't know who Greg Pathiakis is...he attended Stonehill College -- and graduated a year before many of the contributors on this site. He referred to himself as "Stat Man", as that was his designated role as a manager of the hockey team.

Around campus (it's a smaller campus), it was well known that this pickle was, indeed, gay. Whether you like it or not, he was continuously mocked for his extra-curricular activities. Why? Because he would bring it upon himself.

To be honest, I don't think I ever said a single word to him in my life -- as I tend to get creeped out by that "kind" of stuff. What I do know though...is that, during my junior year, he lived in the same suite as a couple of my good friends. While we would be up late doing what most college guys do, it was not uncommon for us to hear "Stat Man" getting into heated arguments (aka, love quarrels) with his live-in "boyfriend". Swearing, breaking of possessions, slapping...all which would inevitibly lead to make-up a$$ pounding (I just made myself sick).

JUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED -- here's to hoping "Stat Man" gets what he deserves in the coming years...

That's a Kick In the Sack If I've Ever Seen One

Steve McNair was arrested early Wednesday morning for his second DUI in 4 years. Sounds pretty common, no? He got cocked, got behind the wheel of his $100,000 car, and got caught. Wrong. McNair wasn't even driving the friggin' car!!!!!!!!!!! Get this, in the state of Tennessee (listen up Commodore, this could apply to you)...you can get a DUI if you are an intoxicated passenger in the car of someone else that's intoxicated. Confused? I think that is the most retarded thing I've ever heard of. I mean, if you want to really get serious, shouldn't the passenger face a different charge than "Driving Under the Influence?" McNair was obviously annihilated and was probably having some high quality puntang follow him home, when he gets the ultimate kick in the nuts. McNair could even be suspended by the NFL because technically it's his second dewey, and the NFL has a no tolerance policy. If I were McNair, I'd just start smoking tons of weed right now. I mean like pounds of weed. How could his life get any worse? I'd hire one of my buddies to just drive me around while I bar hop and do creepy things in the back of the Cadillac Escalade I'd own. Go directly to the bar, McNair, and drink until you puke and piss your pants. Why? Because you're a jerk....and you suck anyway.

Pele the Pakistani???

According to an Aftenposten publication, a coordinated effort by police in Norway and Brazil on Wednesday led to the arrest of 17 people in Norway and an additional 10 in Brazil. The suspects are believed to be linked to the Pakistani B-Gang, and the raids were aimed at crippling their business dealings and arresting key members. Five of six brothers believed to be the central family in the gang are now in custody, and the raids in Brazil focused on property development authorities link to money laundering.

The apartment complex King's Flat in Natal was one of the spots raided in Brazil. It is suspected that Pelé is one of the partners in this project and will be questioned about his role.

A Norwegian is behind the King's Flat development but Pelé is the public face of the project. The Norwegian in question was arrested on Wednesday.

Assets worth between $50-66 million were confiscated in the Brazilian action.

Because They Deserve to be Made Fun Of

There's not much I can say, except the fact that I despise male football cheerleaders. I could go on a 5 day rant about how it's just not right. I want to see smokin' hot chicks cheerleading...not some guy in tight shorts with his junk bulge. Play a sport for fu*ks sake. I don't care if it's chess...just don't cheerlead. Please. Leave the "rah rah siss boom bah" to the skantily clad women on the sidelines. We want to look at them....we'd rather punch our two front teeth out than listen to anything you have to say. Just go away. I'm begging you.

Baron Davis Gets High...Real High...

During halftime of Saturday night's Game 7 between Utah-Houston, the TNT crew interviewed (via satellite) Golden State's Baron Davis and Jason Richardson. Innocent enough, right?

The interview was hilariously awkward. Because...B-Diddy had just finished off a blunt (no question about it). In all seriousness, his eyes were COMPLETELY closed, he chuckled the entire time, and his eyes/head were on a constant swivel.

(In honor of Baron's overall greatness -- interview included -- thus far this postseason, I present you a clip of ankles being broken...in which Baron is featured several times).

Yankees sign Clemens, Hindenburg explodes.

Just like the Hindenburg the Yankees are doomed. Oh the humanity!!!!

Rebecca Romijn's Lap Dance

What the hell ever happened to Rebecca Romijn Stamos?

She provides the general public with the world's greatest strip tease and then divorces "Uncle Joey"...and, all of sudden, disappears???

Derek Fisher is My Hero

Derek Fisher arrived at the EnergySolutions Arena just in time for the Utah Jazz, playing stout defense and not missing a shot on his way to 5 points and 3 assists in nine minutes as the Jazz beat the Warriors in overtime, giving them a 2-0 lead in the best-of-7 series.

Fisher's story is overwhelming to say the least, as his daughter has a rare form of eye cancer that required an emergency operation today (a cancerous tumor was found between the eye and brain of his infant daughter before Game 1 of this series). Re-read that sentence.

With his family, he flew from New York to Utah...just in time to enter the game with 3:18 remaining in the third quarter. He mentioned after the game that parents need to have their kids' eyes checked just after hitting the biggest shot of the game - a three pointer that put the Jazz up six points with 1:05 left in overtime.

HEART AND SOUL OF A CHAMPION.

Will Ali Larter Be There??

According to The Dallas Morning News, hundreds of fans camped out in a storm hoping for a chance to spend a small fortune ($660 for a measly 4 HIGH SCHOOL football games) on season tickets for Southlake Carroll high school football -- three-time national champs...and state champs 4 out of the last 5 years.

Demand is so high, they will pay $90 just for a license, a permit giving them the right to buy tickets for the next three years. Many of these fans are trying to get season tickets now because they're afraid they won't be able to get them when their kids finally get to high school.

"My son's only going to be in seventh grade," said one.

"I have one that's in second grade," said another.

"Genocide Olympics"

Rick Reilly's column in this week's Sports Illustrated foreshadows what will become the biggest story in sports in 2008, when Beijing hosts the Summer Olympics. Reilly writes:

"According to the Council on Foreign Relations, China buys about two thirds of Sudan's oil. The Sudanese government then uses the majority of its oil profits to buy weapons and aircraft, most of them made by China. The arms are turned over to a proxy militia, the Janjaweed, which burns, dismembers, rapes and kills Darfur's villagers and destroys their land. China maintains that it doesn't interfere with the internal politics of other nations, and using that policy it has blocked U.N. efforts to send a peacekeeping force into Darfur by insisting that Sudan first invite the troops in."

...Not to get political, but these games represent a "coming out" opportunity for China -- a chance to show itself anew to a world whose memories of the 1989 Tiananmen Square massacre have largely faded. Despite continuing gross human rights abuses throughout China, and the brutal repression of Tibet, Beijing must take advantage of this event. Will they??

You've Either Got a Wicked Jump Shot....

According to a John Mellencamp's Blender interview, some prominent past Celtics did their fair share of dope...

"I've known Larry Bird since we were kids. When he was on the Celtics and I was playing in Boston, he and Kevin McHale would come to my dressing room after the show and smoke me under the table."

Does this come as any surprise?? I mean...they were best boys with Robert Parish. "The Chief" was/is the basketball version of Tim Raines. In all seriousness though, basketball and chronic go hand-in-hand (just ask Baron Davis, who was out of his mind in this past Saturday's TNT interview).

How else would you explain some of the moves McHale has made since taking over as VP of Basketball Operations for the Timberwolves??

Lastly, did you know that five members of the 1985-1986 Celtics' championship team has served as an NBA head coach? Kevin McHale, Larry Bird, Danny Ainge, Rick Carlisle, and the late Dennis Johnson.

Donkey Business

Schilling, in his weekly appearance on sports radio WEEI's "Dennis and Callahan" show, was asked if baseball fans should hold their noses while watching Barry Bonds's pursuit of Hank Aaron's all-time Major League home run record.

"Oh yeah. I would think so. I mean, he admitted that he used steroids," said Schilling. "I mean, there's no gray area. He admitted to cheating on his wife, cheating on his taxes, and cheating on the game, so I think the reaction around the league, the game, being what it is, in the case of what people think. Hank Aaron not being there. The commissioner [Bud Selig] trying to figure out where to be. It's sad."

"And I don't care that he's black, or green, or purple, or yellow, or whatever. It's unfortunate... there's good people and bad people. It's unfortunate that it's happening the way it's happening."


In order to not come across as a "homer", please allow me a minute to take a breath and collect my thoughts...

Curt Schilling...SHUT THE F*CK UP!!!!!

You don't know what you're talking about...your "facts" are inaccurate. This is ALL a ploy to circulate more attention on you.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you won 2 World Series rings with the following players (and continuously praise the efforts of Mike Lowell, the google definition of steroids):

• Gabe Kapler
• David Ortiz (it's not a coincidence that I haven't mentioned a peep about his recent comments)
• Johnny Damon
• Nomar Garciaparra
• Matt Williams
• LUIS GONZALEZ!!!
• ...the list goes on-and-on

No one (yes, not even Curt Schilling) should even be allowed to talk about diminishing Bonds' records. If you want to take away his MVP's and home runs, then take away Don Sutton’s and Gaylord Perry’s Hall of Fame plaques. Take way Norm Cash’s batting title. Take away Mike Scott’s perfect game. They all cheated, just as surely as Bonds, Giambi, and Ken Caminiti did. As surely as more players that you want to know about did.

What Bonds and these others did was deeply rooted in the game. Pete Rose and most players of his generation couldn’t take batting practice without first downing a handful of “greenies”. Willie Mays kept a bottle of “red juice” in his locker — the same stuff as greenies, but in a liquid form. You can’t say Hank Aaron was clean, because we don’t know what stimulants he took (it's well documented that that he survived off of amphetamines during his playing career). The situation is what it is -- shut up and play...